January 8, 2007 7:50 pm

Etiquette (Or, What Would You Do In This Situation?)

:note: Anchorman DVD

The scenario:
You are walking home from work. You are approaching a man who is standing perpendicular to you on the sidewalk. By the time you realize what he is doing, it is too late. He is peeing. You are close enough to see the stream of urine, but also far enough away to not see where it is emanating from. He doesn’t really look homeless, just weird, and he is TOTALLY PEEING ON THE SIDEWALK RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. You have no option but to walk by him.

Do you:

A) Stop, and wait for him to finish before you walk by him.

B) Avert your gaze and generally pretend he does not exist while you continue to powerwalk by him.

C) Shout something at him from afar, like, “OMIGOD THAT IS GROSS!” and hope he stops.

D) None of the above (please describe your course of action).

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  • Callie says:

    I believe I’ve been in this, if not pretty similar, situation several times before. And each time, I opt to go route B, ’cause I figure he knows he shouldn’t be peeing in such a public place, but has decided he has urgent needs above the law in this moment. Besides, I wouldn’t want him turning around… Pee might get everywhere!

  • Claudia says:

    2. I wouldn’t shout “gross”, though, it’d be something really vulgar, and I would make sure that everyone within a five block radius knew about a urinating freak.

  • Lew says:

    Oh B, definately B. I’d never pee in the open like that, it’s just rude. And I wouldn’t want to piss off the sort of guy who would.

  • Tracey says:

    B! Although I might stand shellshocked for a while, before sort of running past him.

  • Jessica says:

    Turn around go to the next crossing & walk around. Yes he will stop peeing but you might step in it.

    Meggan’s note:
    Ah-ah-ah! You have no choice but to walk by him. Let’s say you are on a bridge, and it would be the hugest, biggest pain in the ass to turn around. It would entail going back down a ton of stairs, walking several blocks out of your way, walking up a ton more stairs, crossing another bridge, and then walking back over to the street you were initially on. Pretty much prohibitive.

  • Ashley says:

    Uhh… B please. :|

  • lkvy says:

    Put a showercap on and run through the sprinkler.

  • D – I would whack him in the pee pee with a nightstick.

  • Katje says:

    B, definatly B. Just pretend that he’s not there and then write a massivily long blog post about how people shouldn’t do this.

    Meggan’s note:
    I can’t quite tell if this comment is trying to tell me I’m an idiot for posting about this. Is it just me?

  • Paul says:

    I’m guessing that much like Callie said, he’s not peeing out there unless he really-REALLY has to. I’ve had to pee outside before when I was caught away from open businesses and just HAD to go.

    But I think I’d try to hold it even longer if I was peeing outdoors somewhere, and a person passing on the street slowly walked up behind me and asked if I’ve seen “Apocalypse Now” or some other equally disturbing film.

    Just the surrealness of that scenario would make me so temporarily insane that I’d probably be too paranoid to pee in public for a long-long time.

    So, I’m saying D, and adding a suggestion that you make it as odd as possible for people you see doing that in the future.

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