July 16, 2006 6:58 pm

Unwelcome Assvice

:note: Type O Negative – “Angry Inch”

My weekend has been filled with me freaking out about homework and Daniel offering to help me sort it all out. Daniel is a saint when it comes to understanding my freakouts about school – he gently reminds me that I just need to get through it, but also offers his help wherever he’s needed and will bring me chocolate if need be.

Before we graduated high school, I had several people admonish me for wanting to stay with him after graduation and through college. One person (a classmate’s mother) told me to forget about it; he would be working, I’d be going to school, we’d be leading two separate lives and neither would understand what the other is going through and it would all end in a big fat mess. I was like, um, thanks? And really, why would you say that to someone? “Your choices are stupid and it will all turn out poorly.” Gee, thanks.

At the time she said that, Daniel and I had already been together for nearly two years (no small feat in high school) and I just knew she was wrong. We may not be perfect, but I knew that neither one of us was so incompetent at communication that it would all go down the drain like she predicted.

I’m actually sort of glad we’re doing different things, as what I’m doing now has been so difficult for the past six (12, 18) months or so that I totally could not offer him the same sort of support in school that he has offered me and it would break my heart. I help him out now in the ways I know how – helping him write a résumé, how to compose emails to potential employers, that sort of thing. I do what I can under the circumstances.

Of course there are times when Daniel doesn’t get why I’m freaking out or what a particular assignment means in the long run, or I don’t get his relationship with his manager at work or why they’re allowed to wrench his schedule back and forth with no discernable rhyme or reason, but that doesn’t mean we’re incompatible. I work too; He teaches himself things he’d like to know about coffee and espresso machines and whatever else he’s interested in. We talk.

We may not be leading mirror-image lives, but that doesn’t mean we’re doomed.

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  • Nicole says:

    I am glad that everything works out so well for you guys. Craig and I get the opposite end of the spectrum. My mom is the hardest on me saying that I need to lead my own life and do things for myself.

    I do not know many couples who can deal with as much together time and Craig and I have, but hell, we have been together for 4 years and it works just fine for me.

    I am thankful that Craig and I go to school together. We are able to support eachother tremendously (hell we can even share our talents on certian assignments). I will admit sometimes it is stressfull having the stress of both of our schedules, but I wouldnt change it for the world.

    I think what it comes down to is that our elders will pick apart our relationships no matter what, and while they have the best intentions in mind, most of the time it is unwarrented advice. The strong relationships will survive, and the not strong ones will move on.

    Congratz for sticking together, young love is hard to come by.

    Wow, this is a long comment, sorry bout that

  • sharon says:

    Communication . . . with your partner, friends, and those other weirdoes out there. You can’t assume everyone knows what is going on with yourself or the other way around assuming the relationship/friendship. Ya’ got to talk! Then you find out we all are a bunch of weirdoes and then what level of friendship you want with that person.

    Good friends are the best!!!

    But, can I give a bit of ‘assvice’? you know that I didn’t do the school thing myself, but i’ve been on this end being the cheerleader. I want to get the pompoms out and shake them wildly – ‘Go Meggan, Go!’ ‘Hang in there!” and if I could think of some other peppy things to say . . . it’s hard not to yell for the team . . . you are the team! Anyway, you are so close. Get your head into seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and strut out graduating with your head up. You’ve done great so far. You’ll continue to do great (I’m assuming you know that – hehehe). By the way, does your school have colors? I want to picture the pompoms in the right colors when thinking of you, sending the ‘Go Meggan, Go’ vibes.

    Send hugs and strength.