November 15, 2005 7:20 pm

Nervy B

:note: The Anniversary – “Outro In No Minor”

I’m getting so overwhelmed. Environmental Science is killing me – I have a huge, term-long project that’s due three weeks from today, yet I still have long, weekly lab (worksheet-type) assignments that take forever to do. I was supposed to turn in a revised outline for the presentation today, but I just didn’t do it. I’ll turn it in next week since we’re allowed late work. Ugh, I’m already behind. I hate being behind. I haven’t even thought about the actual presentation yet.

I have a presentation to do in my internship class the same week (so three weeks from this Friday) but it won’t be as awful. I don’t have to research anything, I just have to talk about my company and the people and what they had me do. I can do that. I just don’t want to make the presentation because that takes time and I don’t have much.

I somehow have to pull together my “identity and branding” for Foundation Portfolio and come up with a design for a “leave-behind” that contains samples of my work, a resume, and a business card. I more or less have the card and resume done, but I haven’t even thought about the leave-behind yet, and I’m missing the week it’s due to go home for Thanksgiving. There’s no way I’ll have anything to show her by tomorrow. And I still have to finish designing and building out my actual portfolio website. Bleh, just thinking about it all makes me nervous.

Then I have my final database project to do as well, which was just assigned today and is due in four weeks. I came up with my idea in class and more or less designed the database and figured out what information would go in which table, so now all I have to do is make all the “create table” MySQL statements, as well as the “insert into…” statements that’ll put all my info into those tables. Doing all the data entry – that’s the part I’m not looking forward to. I have to write out all the insert statements by hand.

Then I have my 10hr a week job, and my 10hr a week internship. And I like doing things on the computer like posting and reading journals. And then I’ve got a smidgen of a social life, and I like talking to Daniel a lot. And I’m a procrastinator.

OH! I forgot about my Psychology final project, in which I have to write a paper and then do a “self-portrait” using man-made found objects. I don’t even know when that’s due.


It pains me to know that there will be another term wherein I must take five classes. It should be better though, because I won’t have the internship taking all my free time, and I won’t have Foundation Portfolio trying to take up the rest.

I feel like I can’t get any of it done.

To add insult to injury, I haven’t been feeling top-notch either. I’m constantly freezing to death, I keep getting headaches and I just sort of feel “out of it.” Some of that can be blamed on not eating properly (too little and too far apart) but it’s hard to fix that. At least it is for me, since I’m out of the house most of the time. I can’t focus on eating the right things if I’m struggling to make a decent lunch in less than five minutes so I can leave for school on time. I wish I could focus on food more and make healthier choices and always be prepared by having great snacks between meals, but I just can’t.

I feel so defeated at the moment. I’m usually super on top of things. I turn in assignments, I take care of myself, I can handle this sort of thing. I’m not only failing to meet all these requirements, I’m also failing my personal requirements of myself. That’s what’s making this so hard.

That nervous breakdown I predicted I’d have during Week 04? It’s happening now.

File Under: , ,

Tagged: No tags


  • HBSL says:

    Hang in there you! I know you’ll do a good job, and I’m sorry about all of the stress. It’ll all get better soon enough.

  • Trinity says:

    Ugh…I know exactly how you feel because I’ve been feeling the exact same lately. I seriously thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown yesterday. I don’t know what it is about this semester, but it’s just TOO much and I can barely handle it…plus I’m still trying to work out the tangled mess of crap that I still need to do before I go to Germany. I’ll be lucky if I finish this semester with a sane head on my shoulders.

    Keep with it, though. Work as hard as you can because I’m sure it’ll pay off, and then once this is all over, you’ll have a bit of time to relax.

  • Rosemarie says:

    Did you get hacked a few days ago?
    I noticed you had some weird message on your site. and now has another similar message…