One of the very first things we updated in our house after we bought it were the outlets and switches, taking them from the original dirty-looking almond to bright white. I think my dad thought I was bananas to focus on those right away, but it made such a huge difference in how fresh and modern the house looked.
Similarly, our house came with low-quality, bright brass doorknobs and I’ve been dying to switch them out for matte black knobs for years. After we got our tax return this year, I finally decided to go through with it.
I settled on the Schlage Bowery in Matte Black. We only have seven interior doorknobs total, so while this could be a pricey project for a larger house with more rooms, our grand total (with tax) was $173.
The knobs arrived while I was at work, and rather than let them sit on the porch all day, I took my lunch break and rushed home to put them inside. I decided to open one of boxes just to make sure they were what I ordered. Once the box was open, it looked so pretty that I decided I would install just one of them to see how it looked. After installing the hallway closet knob, I got so overwhelmed with joy that I had a very difficult time going back to work to finish out my workday. All I could think about were my beautiful new doorknobs!
I had to wait until the following afternoon to install the rest of them, and it was 100% worth it. I am over the moon about them. They have lived up to all of my matte black doorknob dreams!
Here’s a before and after:
Before – OutsideAfter – OutsideBefore – InsideAfter – Inside
I was a little worried that this would end up like many of the other home “improvement” projects I start, were the end result is actually worse than what I started with (see also: pink bathroom vanity I’m currently in the process of un-doing), but I’ve been really pleasantly surprised. The keyed knobs are easy to unlock and they feel so much sturdier than the brass knobs. I love them! For the other improvement projects, we’re looking into hiring a custom home builder since this is a very old house that needs a lot of updating. Look forward to my upcoming posts for the rest of our home journey!
A couple of months ago, Thora had an eczema flare-up that I felt like I couldn’t get rid of. Most of her flare-ups make her legs patchy and red for a few weeks and then it goes away. This one wasn’t going away, so we took her to her doctor and got some recommendations, but I also brought up possibly doing allergy testing.
She had a bad reaction to a kiwi last fall (vomiting, red mouth/chin, a hive next to her mouth) that we treated at home with Benadryl, but it did freak me out because she’d had kiwis before with no visible ill effects. Given the kiwi incident and the current eczema problem, I asked if it would make sense to do the allergy test. Her doctor agreed, and we made an appointment for a blood draw. Those who also suffer from allergies may consult a doctor or read online articles that have allergy drops explained in detail.
IgE Test
Thora handled the blood draw like a champ – I don’t even think she blinked when the needle went in. A few days later, I went to meet with her doctor to get the results.
They were devastating.
The test was an Immunoglobulin E (IgE) test that looks at 22 common foods, and she showed reactions to over half of them:
Additionally, her IgE number, which according to the paper should be between 0 and 60? It was 1131.
Her doctor (Dr. M) was incredibly sympathetic and advised us to eliminate the foods she showed responses to from her diet and to feed her the “safe” items on the list. That said, she acknowledged it was incredibly restrictive and difficult and said that while she could counsel us on what to feed Thora, she would have to Google it first. I asked for referrals for people who would know, and we agreed on sending us to a local allergy clinic and a nutritionist.
Dr. M let me know that the lab still had a bit of Thora’s blood left on which we could run additional tests. We agreed to test for coconuts and almonds because if she can’t have wheat, potato, or rice, those are the alternative flours she could potentially have. Plus, she drinks almond milk nearly every day since we already avoid dairy for her.
(Weirdly, her IgE test showed she was not allergic to dairy, so it’s definitely a sensitivity versus a true allergy.)
Dr. M’s office called me back later that day to tell me she tested positive to coconuts and almonds as well. By that point I had used up all my devastation and panic and I limply agreed to avoid those as well and hung up.
Allergy Clinic
It took two weeks to get in to the allergy clinic, during which we fed Thora an incredibly limited diet of meats, vegetables, and fruits, and cooked everything from scratch. We had a really hard time finding any prepared foods that would be safe for her given the sheer number of foods to avoid.
I wasn’t sure what the visit to the allergy clinic would entail, and the doctor we got was… not my favorite.
She seemed unclear why we were even there, and kept interrupting and talking over me when I tried to explain. She was incredibly dismissive about our concerns, declared Thora’s eczema as “not that bad” without doing an examination on her or even looking at her legs which are always the worst, vehemently disagreed with our decision to meet with a nutritionist (“No, no, no. That’s… Ugh. You don’t need that.”) and dropped her arms down and her head back in annoyance when we mentioned the phrase “gut health” within the context of Thora’s high IgE number. She also seemed to not believe that Thora could have a sensitivity to dairy even though she didn’t test as allergic and sternly told us that strictly avoiding foods was how you make allergies worse. It really felt like she thought we were enormous idiots for eliminating the foods she tested positive to on the IgE test.
The allergist also had zero concerns about Thora’s high IgE number and told us we could give her some Zyrtec if she’s itchy but otherwise feed her whatever we want.
However, she did agree to do the skin prick test to confirm/deny her allergies to many of the foods on the initial list, plus dust mites, cats, and dogs.
Thora showed as allergic to LITERALLY ZERO of the items.
Not allergic to corn, egg whites, egg yolks, milk, peanuts, soy, tomato, wheat, almond, hazelnuts, walnuts, potatoes, or bananas according to the skin prick test.
It’s hard to describe how completely bewildering this was. It seemed to validate the allergy clinic doctor’s (perceived) opinion that we were bananas for even showing up there, and completely invalidated Dr. M’s advice to avoid those foods.
The allergist’s parting words were basically “forget the blood test, feed her all the foods.” The only thing she did seem concerned about was Thora’s reaction to the kiwi last fall, and she wanted to bring us back in at the end of summer to do a skin prick test for kiwis in addition to an Oral Food Challenge where they feed the kid the food they’re supposedly allergic to and see what happens. That way, we know for sure that she’s allergic before she starts school and we can make sure she has an EpiPen in case she needs it.
We left that appointment even more confused than when we went in. I was obviously incredibly relieved that she didn’t seem to have a skin reaction to any of the foods the blood test said she was “allergic” to, but… why the disparity? Is she allergic or is she not?
Nutritionist
Meeting with the nutritionist was so helpful. She laid out the science behind the different kinds of allergy tests and the antibodies the tests are looking for. She also described the concept of “leaky gut” and how that can relate to allergies and Thora’s high IgE number.
Her take was that the IgE test results are (more or less) a symptom of a larger gut health problem for Thora. If her guts were healthy and not-leaky, those IgE antibodies wouldn’t be able to enter her bloodstream to create that high number. Because her guts and intestinal flora have been damaged somehow (possibly through antibiotic use?), they’re spilling this stuff into her bloodstream which is causing the eczema and the alarming IgE test. This also helps explain why her skin prick test showed negative to all these items – she has antibodies for them in her bloodstream, but they haven’t risen to the level that they cause an obvious histamine reaction on her skin.
We made a plan that includes gut-friendly foods like bone broth, good meats, and organic fruits and vegetables, and does not include GMOs, corn, dairy, or wheat. It feels hard but do-able, unlike her initial elimination diet! We are also adding in probiotics, vitamins A, D, E, and K, and I think some digestive enzymes though we haven’t received those yet. She said we should see results within about a month – kids’ tissues heal quickly so she’d be surprised if it took longer than that.
I felt so much better after meeting with the nutritionist! I am still somewhat irritated that Thora’s doctor treated the IgE test like it was gospel without explaining more of the science behind it.
For instance, there was no indication to me that those test results could change in the future OR that simply because she has antibodies, it doesn’t mean we have to, like, clear the house of those things. I was already envisioning changing Thora’s shampoo and conditioner and our bathroom cleaner because they’re formulated with coconuts, and not letting her play with Play-Doh because it contains wheat. Those things are still fine for her, but that was definitely not clear to me from that initial meeting.
It also helped explain several things, like why she had never had an ear infection until about the last 18 months, and why she got a UTI right before her fourth birthday, and why she always seems to have a cold. Her body’s immune system is so preoccupied with this leaky gut issue and creating antibodies that it probably doesn’t have anything left to fight off basic infections.
I am also incredibly irritated at the allergist and her dismissive attitude. Even if she felt we didn’t need to be there, EXPLAIN WHY and don’t make us feel stupid for being worried about an alarming test result and trying our best to help our daughter.
We are still in the thick of things and haven’t started the enzymes or the probiotics yet (they have yet to arrive in the mail!) but I’m glad we have a plan going forward! Here’s hoping it helps her eczema and her overall health.
I have a job I ADORE but it’s completely unrelated to my degree (and doesn’t require a degree) and I haven’t done any real web development in years. I have only a passing knowledge of how people build good websites nowadays. It’s bizarre how fast the industry moves. A while back, I spent a year at a job I hated where they stuck me with in-house PHP work versus the client-side HTML/CSS work that I enjoy, and I feel like in that time, mobile development (as a skill) passed me by entirely. I did my best to learn on my own, but with nobody to bounce ideas off of and no client work to force me to get it right, I just hoped I was on the right track. I didn’t even have a smartphone at the time so it was difficult to assess my efforts.
Anyway — I feel like I don’t know where to start with web dev anymore, even for hobby stuff like this ancient website. (Side note: did you know that I bought this domain in 2003? Yipes.) That said, CSS has always been fun for me so I might experiment with bringing this WP theme into the current decade.
Roller Derby
I did roller derby for nearly a year until The Incident, and I’m conflicted over how much I want to keep reaching for something I may never have again. I could NSO (be a “non-skating official”) for bouts still, which I know would be appreciated, but… I miss my friends! I wanted to have roller derby adventures with them, not be stuck on the sidelines. Derby was FUN and I miss skating and seeing friends and being a part of a group of badass women. *weeps forever*
I feel like I’ve had a pretty chipper attitude toward my leg/ankle breaking and me missing out on fun derby stuff, but this week all my teammates started receiving their official new uniforms in the mail and I am so jealous!!! Argh.
Hair
My profile picture all over the Internet.
I cut off half my hair a couple years ago and I still love it and have zero regrets. I’ve never done anything interesting with my hair and what finally pushed me over the edge was this excellent exchange from Melissa and Aisling:
“Time to be… not 4.” Thanks, Aisling!
Just prior to cutting my hair, I attempted to come out to Daniel as bisexual, and he sort of laughed and said he’s known that about me for forever.
May everyone have a partner as supportive as Daniel.
I’m still figuring out how to navigate being very hetero-passing due to marriage/kids but wanting to be visible as a bi person! It’s a weird place to be in! I don’t have all the answers yet, but I have a deep and abiding gratitude toward my bi friends who have come out publicly recently and who have given me the courage to start saying some stuff out loud. I am also grateful for Whip from my derby team exclaiming at an afterparty that this was “the gayest team we’ve ever had,” and then pointing out all the queer team members before turning to me and saying, “…and I don’t know you very well but you have a gay haircut so…” I felt so SEEN. Haha!
In an earlier version of the article, they left in my description of my long hair + side shave, but then edited it out to better fit the bisexual bob theme of the article.
(I’m thinking now about all the internet friends I’ve made via personal websites or the Qbee and WOW who would have thought so many of us would wind up identifying as queer?!)
Kids
Wesley is in third grade and is about to turn nine, and Thora is four and will go to kindergarten in the fall. She can read already, and is whip-smart and more clever than you’d expect. Classic Slytherin. Wesley is a Hufflepuff and is such a thoughtful, kind boy. For as much as I loved the baby stage, I’m really enjoying having older kids. They’re funny! They’re able to help around the house! They can buckle their own carseats! Many advantages.
Books
I’ve read so many good ones recently! Here’s a few:
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee. Easy, entertaining read? Explicitly bisexual main character? Adventure and mystery and some very hot flirting? SIGN ME UP. The sequel (from the sister’s perspective) is also excellent.
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo. Recommended reading for all humans.
The Radium Girls by Kate Moore. Depressing but fascinating look at how dangerous stuff gets passed off as “perfectly fine” if people can still make money off of it.
I also re-read the first two Grishaverse books by Leigh Bardugo so I could make sense of the third one, Ruin and Rising, and MAN I had forgotten how much I enjoy her stuff. I then went on to read the other Grishaverse books that are out now – The Tailor, The Demon in the Woods, Little Knife, and The Too-Clever Fox. I also read Six of Crows and am excited for the sequel to come out.
TV and Movies
I went to a movie by myself for the first time ever – I put on some red lipstick and took myself to see Wonder Woman. I cried in the theater during the “No Man’s Land” scene like everybody else did. I can’t even describe why… Something about her body positioning and what she was doing and GAHHH I ended up buying a digital copy of the movie and I can’t watch it without getting a little misty-eyed at that part!
I also took myself to Thor: Ragnarok because HELLO – Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth! I haven’t seen really any of the other Marvel movies besides the first Thor movie but you know? Sometimes you just have to trust in Taika Waititi and you’re not disappointed. I’m very interested in the new Men In Black movie starring the both of them.
TV-wise, obviously I am currently obsessed with The Magicians, but I also love Sense8 and am super sad it’s done but grateful we got to get a conclusion with that special episode they put out. I like Marvel’s Runaways, and I have a love-hate relationship with Riverdale. It’s like a horrible soap opera and it’s objectively terrible but also amazing and I love it? I think? Except Archie was recently bucking bales of hay shirtless which is I think the stupidest thing I’ve seen on that show so I’m still recovering from that scene.
In 2019 I’m trying to lean more into the interests I’m a little embarrassed by, so I’ll probably be tweeting and/or posting more about TV and makeup/skincare and pop music and other things because I LIKE THEM and I usually talk myself out of posting about them but man do I have a lot to say about media sometimes.
