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Induction, continued

When we left off, I hadn’t yet recieved Cervadil and was tolerating the misoprostol contractions pretty well. After my next check around 7pm, the nurse administered the Cervadil and we waited to see how things would progress.

Right around 9pm, I decided to take her up on the offer of Ambien so I could get a decent night’s sleep. Of course, immediately after taking the Ambien to put me to sleep, my contractions became a lot more regular and much harder to manage. I wasn’t crying or anything, but after a while I was having to really focus on breathing through them and (I think since they were artificially started) I wasn’t getting decent breaks in between them. After talking with the nurse, we decided it’d be a good idea to let me get in the jacuzzi tub next door.

She filled up the tub and she and Daniel helped me into it. It felt SO NICE. I felt pretty loopy by this point, since I was really, really sleepy from the Ambien but I had to stay awake to be in the tub and not drown. I sipped on some cool water and hung out in the tub for a while, holding Daniel’s hand.

(more…)

For real this time. I do have pre-eclampsia, but I managed to keep my numbers steady enough over the weekend (with NSTs on Friday and Sunday and a few more 24-hour urine tests and bloodwork) that they felt comfortable enough to let me keep my appointment on Tuesday.

When I went in yesterday I had the same midwife that called me on Wednesday. I still think she’s a little more trigger-happy than the other ladies, but the message I got was that since I’ve basically hit full-term and my numbers are still crap, there’s really not any benefit to waiting. Baby needs to come out! As such, they made me an appointment in the hospital for 8am.

Last night was kind of weird… it still didn’t feel real. I didn’t sleep very well and I told Daniel it was like waiting for Christmas, except a SCARY Christmas, with less presents and more helpless infants.

We took a while getting out the door but made it to our appointment more or less on time. I got monitored for a while and then they gave me misoprostol at about 9:30am to get things started. Right around my second dose at 12:30pm or so, I started feeling some contractions.

My nurse is really nice and is a Harry Potter fan. I told her I brought one of the books and she looked horrified and said, “YOU HAVEN’T READ THEM?” and I was like, “Oh good lord, of course I’ve read them, I’m RE-reading them.” and she was like, “Oh good. I was going to wonder what was wrong with you.” Hahaha!

Hospital food here tastes fine (good, even!) but the portions are so SKIMPY. I felt like a cow ordering several items for both Daniel and I (sneaky!) and come to find out, it was a totally reasonable amount of food for one person. Their French Toast? ONE PIECE. Of normal, Wonderbread-sized bread. One piece! I was so much hungrier than one piece of French Toast! I had a weensy bowl of soup and a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, plus some pears and chocolate milk. Exciting!

Contractions so far are just uncomfortable, sometimes verging on painful depending on their length/severity. It feels like bad period cramps. Baby is still kind of in a weird position – they called it “oblique” (scroll down to “Lying Around”) and this is exactly how it feels like he’s sitting. He’s head-down, but he’s a weensy bit sideways so his head is more or less sitting on my hip bone. He could still move down into my pelvis, especially once I start active labor, so nobody’s concerned yet. It does make contractions feel weirder on that side though – if it does hurt, that’s the area where it hurts.

That’s about where we are at the moment. I’ll get another update at about 7pm when they check me again. I might get Cervidil and then we’ll wait and see how that goes. If that’s the case, they’ve also ordered me an Ambien so I can get a good night’s sleep, and I’ll probably get Pitocin in the morning. No real idea when things might really get going.

That said, unless something drastically changes, my next post here might be introducing Baby! Eeep!

We’re going to have our baby this weekend. (!!!) Crazy! I got a phone call yesterday that said my labs and blood pressure are still crap and we need to get this baby delivered so we can both recover. I have a bit of protein in my urine, my platelet count (liver function) is dropping, and my uric acid (kidney stress) is up. Eeep! At this stage they’re still calling it “mild pre-eclampsia” instead of “severe” but we do not want it to get “severe,” hence the induction.

I am still kind of freaking out. When the midwife was explaining it all to me it made sense, but then I was like, “So… what’s the timeline for all of this? Within the week?” and she was like, “You could come in tonight if you wanted.” And I was like ACK NO NO NO! I need time to process this! AUGH!

My alternative was to repeat the 24-hour urine test and keep my Friday morning appointment and repeat my bloodwork then. They weren’t super stoked on that idea because they may or may not have my test results by the time of my appointment, they want to induce me anyway so I really wouldn’t be buying myself any more time, and they’d have to call me back with my bloodwork results later in the day, just to tell me to go to Labor & Delivery at the hospital.

To compromise, I volunteered to start the 24-hour test late yesterday, so that I could turn it in today and we could have the results by my appointment. The midwife was like, “Ah… yes, and we could have the lab run your bloodwork when you turn in your test instead of us taking it on Friday… I think this will work.” So! I am collecting my pee in a jug again but I didn’t have to go deliver a baby yesterday as a surprise, so I think it’s a good tradeoff.

Less than ideal

During the explanation, the midwife was like, “So, looking at your chart, this is probably not the birth you wanted or expected to have.” and I was like, “HA. No.” I’m still trying to deal with that, honestly. I really, truly believe in the power of women’s bodies to do what they need to do in labor and I’m pretty bummed I won’t even get the chance to have the sort of birth I wanted.

I’m not anti-pain-meds, but I did want to attempt a natural birth and was pretty confident I could do it as long as I didn’t receive Pitocin to jumpstart or augment labor. If I had to get Pitocin, I said, all bets are off and I will probably get an epidural. I also didn’t want constant monitoring or an automatic IV, all of which I’m basically guaranteed as part of an induction. Plus, induction carries a higher risk of a c-section because you’re making your body do something it’s not ready for (and something the baby isn’t ready for) so things can go downhill pretty easily.

I’m just… upset, I guess, that this is all happening so fast and I don’t really feel like I have a lot of say in the matter. I’m proud of myself for asking to bump up the 24-hour test (they like to start it in the morning, but since it’s a 24-hour test, that 24 hours can technically start at any point) so THANK YOU to my labor & delivery nurse mom who suggested that I ask for that. Otherwise, I just feel like a lot of this is out of my control and it makes me nervous.

The Plan

I am going in for my appointment on Friday morning, at which point I fully expect to be sent off to L&D at the hospital to begin my induction. Mom said that the first day will likely be really, really boring and uneventful while they try to adjust the meds they’re giving you to start labor. Since I’m a first-timer and am a month early, we’re betting that the induction will not be super fast/easy since my body just isn’t ready yet.

Best case scenario, my body takes to the induction really well and we have a baby by Friday night or early Saturday. The more likely scenario is that it doesn’t work right away and they have to continue to try to induce Saturday and I deliver late Saturday or early Sunday. Worst case scenario, Baby and I don’t take to the induction at all and they have to whisk me away for a c-section. Let us all hope this is not the case.

The hospital keeps you post-birth for about 48 hours, so depending on timing I could be in the hospital until Tuesday or so. I am bringing my laptop and camera(s) so we should be able to update everyone on progress and the eventual baby.

(I bet you are all dying to know his name. Heh. So are we.)

I’ve had an exciting time since my post last week! Recap from Monday’s blood pressure check:

• BP was terrible (160/90) when they first took it, so about ten minutes later they re-checked and I’m so glad they did, because it improved a ton (134/82).
• Because it was so high initially and my leg/foot swelling was so bad, the midwife decided to put me on bedrest. Argh! This means I am on the couch or my bed basically 24/7, no going to work, and no grocery shopping or housework or anything. Fortunately, my employer is fine with me working from home to finish out my time until I’m on maternity leave. Yay for flexibility!
• They took a blood sample to do some bloodwork so they have a baseline in case I start going downhill – they can compare it and see what’s going on.

They scheduled me to come back today to recheck everything. From today’s appointment, bad/mediocre news first, good news next:

• I had a bit of protein in my urine, and my bloodwork showed elevated levels of uric acid. I don’t actually know what this means, other than it is not really a good sign. The midwife said neither number was particularly alarming, exactly, just not ideal.
• Because of this, they are having me do the 24-hour urine collect. Boo! I have a fancy brown bottle that I get to fill with my pee and keep in my fridge. Delightful.
• Blood pressure: 130/80! YAY! Bedrest seems to be working.
• I lost two pounds! Also yay!
• Foot swelling is down! I think this is the reason I lost two pounds – it’s all water weight, but since I can move my ankles again I am more than happy to take it.
• Baby has moved head-down! We had the fastest ultrasound ever, on the same ancient machine, in which she pointed out the white lines that were the edges of his skull and that was it. Baby’s heartbeat sounds great.

Final word was that I don’t have preeclampsia, but she wouldn’t be at all surprised if I developed it, so the goal is to have that happen later rather than sooner. They also bumped me up to twice-weekly appointments to keep a close eye on me, so from here on out I’ll go in Tuesdays and Fridays.

Bedrest

Sounds like a picnic, right? Hanging out on the couch all day?

Not so much. I mean, I’m working from home, so technically I am occupied from the hours of 8:30am-5:30pm, but once you’re forced to be on the couch it becomes much less appealing. Plus, I feel fine! It’d almost be easier if I felt “sick” or otherwise in need of 24/7 resting.

Also, you know how your butt hurts after sitting through a long movie? Imagine days and weeks worth of that. Blah!

I’m not really sure how restrictive I’m supposed to be; I’m allowed to get up for bathroom breaks and the occasional shower, but I’m not sure whether or not I can complete simple sewing projects for instance. I forgot to ask today.

(I am totally flouting the rules to attend my baby shower on Saturday. Wouldn’t miss it for the world!)

Remodel

I got a call from our building’s maintenance guy on Monday to let me know that during our annual inspection, they discovered some major issues in the bathroom that they’d like to take care of, and basically they want to remodel our bathroom.

Yes. A full bathroom remodel, on our only bathroom, with me at 35 weeks pregnant, on bedrest, with a baby that may or may not come early due to this whole BP issue. DOES THIS NOT SOUND LIKE THE WORST IDEA EVER?

A guy from the company slated to do the remodel stopped by this morning to assess the situation and determine his price and timeline. They need to rip up the floor, fix some nails that are migrating upward, replace the floor, tear out the tile in the shower, fix some squishiness in the walls, re-do the tub surround, and possibly replace the sink.

It was at this point I was told that it would take THREE WEEKS to complete the work. Everyone I’ve talked to has encouraged me to go for it before the baby arrives rather than after, since you don’t want to renovate a bathroom with a newborn in tow, but GOOD GRIEF. I also do not want to be 35+ weeks pregnant and without a bathroom for nearly a month.

ARGH.

At this point, I am waiting to hear back from Maintenance Steve with the landlord’s response to the remodeling company’s assessment and bid. If they decide to go ahead with it, I am going to ask about being put up in a hotel. I’m on bedrest so I can rest from anywhere, but I need a bathroom. This is non-negotiable.

Impeccable timing, no?

Baby Appointment

Dr’s appointment yesterday didn’t offer a lot of great news – my blood pressure is elevated (140/90, up from 140/76 two weeks ago) so they want me to come back in Monday for another blood pressure check just to make sure it’s not continuing to go up.

I don’t seem to be spilling any protein in my urine or having any hand/face swelling or dizziness, so I don’t think I have preeclampsia, but they want to err on the safe side. Right now, I’m hoping for two things:

1. Blood pressure either stays the same or goes down. I really, really don’t want it to go up. This also contributes quite a bit (I think, anyway) to the foot swelling so any improvement here would be welcome.
2. I continue to not have protein in my urine. The midwife mentioned something about maybe doing a 24-hour sample collect, where you have to keep all your urine for 24 hours in a jug and then bring it in so they can test it. DO NOT WANT.

I keep joking with Daniel that he’s going to start feeding me only salads and gruel to try to keep my BP down. Somehow I get the impression that he is considering it.

They also wheeled in a terrifically ancient-looking ultrasound machine to verify Baby’s position, because at this point, they really should be head-down to prepare for labor. Just to be difficult, Baby was transverse. Argh.

Daniel gave him a pep talk to try to get him to turn, and I’ve been hanging out in Cat Cow to try to give him a bit more room. I have basically no torso so I don’t blame him for stretching out sideways across my tummy, but HEY. BABY. There is this thing called “birth” we have to go through, and best to not make it more difficult than necessary for the both of us. Head: down. Now.

Breastfeeding Class

This went well. I was surprised to discover that I knew several of the points the instructor made just from reading so many parenting blogs over the years. Internet win! We got a book to refer to and lots of handouts, and we practiced some nursing positions with plastic baby dolls.

I made the class giggle during introductions because we were supposed to mention a concern or fear we had regarding breastfeeding and I said I was afraid my boobs would suffocate my baby. And then I turned bright pink, because HELLO, the only person in this room I know is my husband and now I have basically just said hi! My name is Meggan and I have ridiculously large boobs, nice to meet you.

Sleep

I actually haven’t been doing too poorly in the sleep department, but apparently poor Daniel is being woken up by my outrageously loud breathing and/or snoring. Whoops. My nose gets kind of snuffly in the evenings so by the time I go to bed I can’t breathe through my nose very well and I guess I make a lot of noise? Occasionally I’ll wake up to him elbowing me but that’s about all I remember.

Lucky

I just wanted to mention how much I lucked out with Daniel as my husband. He will volunteer to squish my feet if they are painful, he does all our laundry and dishes, handles a lot of the grocery shopping, makes me dinner, and is great about cleaning the apartment.

He is excited about preparing for Baby and wasn’t a bum about going to classes or participating once we were there. This past weekend he told me he’s looking forward to carrying Baby around in a sling, and if I hadn’t already been sitting I would have keeled over from the cuteness.

OMG SO ADORABLE.

He turns 25 on Sunday and I am so pleased that I’ve gotten to share the last 9-ish years with him. Love you, Danbob!

Maternity Photos!

We had our maternity photoshoot on Saturday and it went splendidly. Ashley is so fun to work with and was great about giving us directions so we didn’t look stupid. I’m really bad at finding places to put my hands and don’t always notice if my bangs are doing something kooky so I really appreciated the gentle direction.

The shoot was out on Sauvie Island (about a 20 minute drive) and involved a pleasant nature walk, in which Daniel and Ashley each saw a frog and I saw some duckies. I wanted to see the frogs really bad but they hid from me. And apparently it’s weird that I’ve only ever seen frogs as big as a quarter – Ashley said she’s seen giant ones in Hawaii that got run over in the street and turned into frog roadkill leather in the sun. Crazy! I’ve always wanted to see a huge frog or toad but have never had the opportunity.

And this is just the sneak peek! We will be getting a CD in the mail with all the photos so we can get them printed or have the files to post on Facebook or Flickr. Thanks, Ashley!

Massage

My massage was WONDERFUL. It didn’t cure me of all my ailments (woe!) but it was so lovely! The massage therapist was super sweet and helped prop me up with 800 pillows (okay, maybe six) and it was a great way to end the weekend.

Reality Check

I think Daniel and I are both kind of realizing that HEY, we will have a baby soon! It’s very exciting but also kind of scary. We’re both kind of worried that we’ll miss each other a lot or not be able to do things like see bands play anymore. I mentioned that I’ve heard we should institute “date nights” to make sure we get some together time even when Baby is here and we agreed that that sounded like a good idea.

This whole thing is pretty freaky though; there won’t just be the two of us! And I will have to take care of a tiny helpless thing! And I will only get maybe two weeks with Daniel before he has to go back to work! And I will only have 12 weeks with Baby before I have to go back to work! Eeek!

Preparing

In terms of preparing for Baby, I feel like we have the essentials but ONLY the essentials. We have a crib, a carseat, and our cloth diapers. Beyond that… it’s kind of sparse. I did buy some pacifiers and a set of muslin swaddling blankets and we do have some small onesies, but we don’t have a diaper pail, cloth diaper detergent, any kind of medical supplies like infant Tylenol or a thermometer, etc. The list goes on.

I was trying not to to stock up on stuff before the baby shower just in case we are blessed with particularly generous friends and family members, but it also makes me nervous to have next to nothing for Baby this late in the game. Deep breaths! I’m sure it will all work out but it makes me nervous just the same.

We have a couple more classes coming up next week – a breastfeeding prep class and a newborn care class. I think they’ll both help us feel more comfortable handling Baby once he’s here. Not that we’re afraid of breaking him, exactly, just… I don’t really know what to do with a newborn and I think this will give us a small boost of confidence.

I think I am hitting the “uncomfortable” stage of pregnancy.

My feet and ankles retain fluid so easily and I get really frustrated with my chubby feet. It often hurts to circle my ankles or flex my calves because the skin is so tight – it feels like an indian rugburn.

Elevating still helps slightly, and Daniel has been wonderful about giving me footrubs (“foot squishins” in our household) but I’m finding that depending on how I sit afterward it can come back almost instantly. Anytime my leg bends at the knee, especially sitting cross-legged, is DOOOOM for my feet. Plus, they’re super tender! The outside of the tops of my feet feel like they’re bruised.

Several of Baby’s movements are painful now – I often find myself pushing a limb of some sort back at him because whatever he’s doing hurts! It’s not even the kicking, it’s the weird body part lumps that poke out. It’s like having a cat in a pillowcase!

The fatigue-during-walking thing is nearly constant – I gave up trying to take my normal route to work and hop on the bus instead because it’s MUCH less walking. My muscles get really exhausted after about three blocks, it’s sad.

Fortunately, I still feel like I can take in a full breath but I hear that will go away soon too.

(ALL THAT SAID, I really do feel like I am getting off easy in terms of pregnancy woes. I don’t pee myself, I haven’t had any bottom-system problems, and aside from the muscle fatigue and the fatty piggy feet, I usually feel pretty good.)

Trimet win!

This week, someone FINALLY got up for me on the bus. I stepped on and it became immediately clear that I was going to have to stand, so I made my way toward one of the poles to hang on, and then a very nice girl offered me her seat. She was a sweet-looking, 20-something lady and I was so, so grateful.

Then later, this ancient little Asian man got on the bus after grocery shopping, and had clearly misplaced his wallet somewhere. He kept patting all his pants pockets, and then jacket pockets, and then looking through his grocery bags trying to find it. After a few minutes, a kind of skeezy-looking guy handed him a fistful of dollars so he could pay his bus fare. The Asian guy was SO thankful and I just felt so happy that there were two very nice people riding the bus that day.

Other stuffs

Daniel installed the carseat base this week and was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was. Yay! We are keeping the actual carseat in the house for now but the base is in the car still.

Baby’s heartbeat sounded great at my appointment yesterday. My appointments are always hilariously short because I don’t really have anything wrong with me, so there’s not a lot to talk about. I complain about my feet every time and they just give me the symptoms of preeclampsia to be on the lookout for and send me on my merry way. Meanwhile, I have difficulty GOING DOWN STAIRS because my ankles and the tops of my feet are so fat that they have a hard time bending and it hurts. I’m good about drinking water but perhaps I should go on a salt-avoidance mission?

I have my maternity portraits scheduled for tomorrow and Daniel totally wins the Expectant Father of the Year Award for getting me a pregnancy massage for Valentine’s Day. I scheduled that for this Sunday and I’m hoping it’ll help with the foot problem. Hurrah!

This last week was the first time a complete stranger remarked on my belly. I was wary of him at first since he was singing to himself (here in Portland, talking to yourself is a sure sign of The Crazies) but I was pleasantly surprised to discover that he was very polite and nice. He asked if I “knew what it was” (boy) and how far along I was (7 months) and was like, “In two months you’re going to be a mama! Congratulations!” He asked if we had any names and I said no and he laughed.

Because, no, we still don’t really have any names. We’re not revealing them beforehand anyway, but the plan is to have a shortlist to bring into the hospital so we can meet him before we name him. Problem is, we don’t really even have a shortlist. And now one of the names I liked (that Daniel was lukewarm on) just got axed because the nickname sounds terrible and singsong-y with Riley, which makes me sad but lets Daniel off the hook.

Sometimes I hate the news

Sorry, Baby. As if I didn’t have enough things to worry about. My baby may have Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, type 2 diabetes, stroke and/or heart disease because I couldn’t limit myself to only gaining 10lbs while pregnant!

Even better:

“If there ever was a maternal hex, obesity might be it,” said Dr. Gerald Weissmann, editor-in-chief of the journal, “and as it turns out, even after the weight comes off, the biggest loser isn’t a mother, but her child.”

MATERNAL HEX. Could they BE any more sensationalist? Good grief. And then ending it by saying the damage is already done, so even if you DO lose the weight your baby is already at risk.

*sigh*

Hospital Prep

I think I found a going-home outfit for Baby! It’s a white onesie with gray, blue, and green rocketships and UFOs on it, plus a little green and white striped zip-up hoodie with a blue rocketship embroidery on the front, and then little gray sweatpants. I got it in “newborn” size so I’m hoping it fits and I’m planning on bringing a similarly-colored 0-3 size onesie just in case he’s huge.

I haven’t started a hospital bag yet but I’m thinking about it. I can’t stand packing early because I feel like in the meantime, I need the stuff that the bag is supposed to contain, but I’m making a mental list of things I should include. This is, of course, based mostly off lists I’ve found on the internet.

Maternity Leave

I’ve started to get things in motion for when I’m on maternity leave from work. If everything goes according to plan, my last day should be April 9 and I will return July 6 (which is a four day week!). I get six weeks disability pay (60% of my salary, pre-tax), two weeks PTO from the company (THANK YOU), two weeks of my own PTO, and then the rest is unpaid time off.

This leaves me with two more weeks of PTO (luckily, I rolled over one from last year) to use throughout the rest of the year for daycare emergencies/closures, sick time, vacations, and anything else that comes up. I was really leery of using all my PTO in one go so I think this plan works out nicely for me.

Baby and Me

The internet tells me Baby should be about 16 inches tall and around three and a half pounds. I’d estimate him at closer to four, mostly based on the ultrasound a couple of weeks ago saying he was already 3.5lbs. He’s having loads of fun stretching, rolling over, and occasionally kicking me in a rib. I can sometimes tell when he’s about to kick, because he’ll stre-e-e-tch, pause for a moment, and then BAM! I had a dream the other day that I knew where his feet were and I was tickling his toes – I woke up smiling.

Baby’s lungs are maturing and apparently he often has his eyes open when he’s awake. Creepy!

As for me, I’ve had a couple of Braxton-Hicks contractions (I think?) and walking tends to fatigue me pretty easily. I think my belly pokes out far enough that my back/legs are having a hard time adjusting to the shift in my center of gravity, and they have to work extra-hard to keep me upright and mobile. I’m still doing yoga once a week which helps, and I’m usually pretty conscious of my posture and know not to overly arch my back to make up for it. Still sucks though.

I’ve also had a bit of sciatic pain on my right-side top-of-butt which is unpleasant. It’s not debilitating, thank goodness, but it is uncomfortable. I’m getting better at remembering to pee before I leave work instead of realizing I need to go on my way home when I can’t do anything about it. Progress!

Also, chocolate basically sounds good all the time.

So! 30 weeks down and approximately 10 to go. Baby is moving much differently than even a month ago – it’s much more squirmy, rolly, and stretchy sensations rather than distinct kicks. I still get those too, but they are much fewer and farther between. I’ve also felt hiccups a couple of times! I think the last time I said I did, it was something else – right after I posted it I read somewhere that the “shuddering” feeling is usually Baby shaking a limb around to get untangled from the cord or to move around a bit. Now that I’m pretty sure I felt actual hiccups, I’m even more sure the shuddering wasn’t it.

I had a follow-up ultrasound done last Friday to check Baby’s growth. I think they were just wanting to make sure he wasn’t a giant baby, so while he was still measuring ahead, it was a much more manageable week ahead instead of 2+ weeks ahead like at the first ultrasound. Baby is still definitely a boy, and we got a cute picture of his little noggin:

People tell me he has my lips and this makes me laugh. I find him adorable already and I can’t even really tell what he looks like.

He was breech (head up) during the ultrasound, which was weird since I feel like he’s been head down for weeks now, and turned head down again pretty soon afterward. He was head down today at my appointment so maybe he just wanted to spice things up for the ultrasound. They estimated his weight at about three and a half pounds.

Also! Speaking of pounds, I only gained TWO between my last appointment and today’s appointment. GO ME!

That time I fell down

I fell over on Sunday. (I AM FINE, BABY IS FINE.) I misjudged a curb and did something weird, and my heels slipped off and before I knew it I was lying in the street in between two parked cars. (Please note that I am laughing here, typing this out. It just sounds so horrible.) Mostly I landed on my knees, and I kind of caught myself with one hand and a boob and I don’t think my belly even hit the ground. Primarily I just scraped my knees and scared the everloving hell out of both Daniel and myself. I keep picturing the panic-stricken look on his face as he helped me up and OH MAH GAH SO HORRIBLE.

Knees are a little bruised and a little scratched, but I didn’t rip my pants or anything and Baby was just as active as ever and I didn’t have any cramps or bleeding or anything out of the ordinary. I told my midwife about it today and she was like, “Okay. So I really hope that doesn’t happen again but if it does, you should call us, because we might want to check you and the baby out to make sure everything is okay.” Duly noted! (SEE? I AM BAD AT THIS DOCTOR STUFF ALREADY.)

Childcare

This is so stressful and just UGH that I almost don’t even want to talk about it. In short: everywhere imaginable has a wait list a year long and we need care starting in July; everywhere is right around a thousand dollars a month; I am still vaguely upset that I even have to use childcare; I am angry that many places charge you (anywhere from $25-70) to get placed on the waitlist. Fortunately the place we toured already seemed nice (and was fine with cloth diapers!), and we have a tour at another location next Thursday afternoon and then another one Friday morning, so we’ll see about those as well. We’re submitting wait list applications where we can, especially at the ones that don’t charge to type your name into a spreadsheet.

Other stuff

I have an appointment for maternity portraits booked for the 20th! I’m super excited!

The fatigue I mentioned last week has gotten a bit worse. I can’t tell what causes it but I’m leaning toward it possibly being related to needing to eat something. It’s just so WEIRD – my sidebutt/hip area will be so fatigued it doesn’t want me to stand up, but all I did was walk up some stairs. So irritating.

Only one more childbirth prep class to go! We’re also signed up for a breastfeeding class and a newborn care class but those aren’t for another couple of weeks yet. This week we learned about interventions and pain medication. I’m still leaning toward avoiding pain meds, but we’ll see how things go once we get there. Basically, I think I’ll be fine as long as I don’t end up getting Pitocin. If I get Pitocin, all bets are off and I’ll probably ask for an epidural, but if I can avoid the Pitocin (which is one of my goals) then I think I’ll be okay.

Non-baby-related drama: Something got messed up with Daniel’s W4 form at his last job, and as such, his deductions for taxes were not what we intended and stayed that way for most of the year, and as such, instead of getting a nice fat check for our tax return we had to SEND the IRS a fat check for both federal and state. Argh.

“Nursery” Update

We managed to get the crib in its designated spot in the bedroom, and it actually worked! It’s not obtrusive, I can still get in an out of bed, and Baby will be close by in the middle of the night. Win!

I also washed practically everything we’ve purchased so far for Baby and dumped it all into the crib. I want to get some shelf bins for our new short bookcase so I can organize his clothes into newborn, 0-3mos, 3-6mos, and 6-9mos so I can just grab something out of the appropriate bin for him to wear. Less opportunity for confusion, the better.

Childbirth Prep

Our class is once a week on Thursdays, for four weeks. Our second class is tonight.

Our instructor is so nice! She has the same philosophy about birth that I do (more or less) so I don’t feel like I’m at odds with her, and she explains everything very clearly and reassuringly. There are some total characters in the class (dude with bluetooth headset and minus two front teeth? CHECK!) but overall everyone seems very nice. The class doesn’t adhere to a specific technique (Bradley, Lamaze, etc.) but is more of a general “birth education” class that teaches you about the birth process and ways to cope with it, plus ways for your partner to help out. I like it.

Body Woes

FEET. Oh man. My feet keep swelling up and it is SO ANNOYING. I do not enjoy having tree trunks for ankles and giant pillowy fat feet. Pretty much the only thing that makes it go away is sleeping with my feet elevated overnight, which is difficult to do in bed, so sometimes I’ll sleep on the couch with my feet up on the couch arm.

Sitting cross-legged tends to make it worse, and my left foot is almost always a bit worse than my right. I just hate the feeling of trying to wiggle my toes and realizing that the tops of my feet are so fat that they don’t want to let my toes move back toward me. Ugh.

MUSCLE FATIGUE. The last week has been really bizarre fatigue-wise. I had to take a break partway to my pedicure place on Sunday to let my muscles rest because all of them were shouting their displeasure at me. It was weird. My back, shins, quadriceps, everything that keeps me upright was NOT HAPPY. It was a bit better on the way home (I didn’t have to stop and rest) but it was bad again trying to get to work this week.

ITCHINESS. I have one stretch mark that is driving me nuts with the itchiness. Lotion helps a little but GRAHHGHGHH. I can’t ignore itching.

GENERAL MOVEMENT. Um, so it’s hard to put on socks now. I mean, even sitting down. Thank goodness my shoes are all slip-on style because there’s no way I’d be able to tie anything. I’ve given up on any kind of foot care and have taken to getting the occasional pedicure to keep things tidy, which seems to be working nicely.

Maternity Portraits

I’m thinking about booking a portrait session with a photographer friend. I’m waffling about spending the money, but at the same time, Daniel and I do not have nearly enough photos of the two of us together, and I have next to none of me with a belly. I mean, normal human photos of me, not these documentary-style ones I’ve been posting on Flickr.

Basically, I think I’d be sad if I didn’t do it. I’m currently trying to think of cute outfits to wear so I look “cute pregnant” and not “dumpy pregnant” but it’s hard, haha.

Baby shower!

It’s no longer a surprise! YAY! I am SO SO SO excited! We have a guest list and a location and a date (mid-March) and a FACEBOOK GROUP! And there will be deviled eggs and Martha Stewarty things and I totally cannot wait.

I got my first unsolicited pregnancy remark this week! And! It was very pleasant with lots of well-meaning advice. It was from a nice lady who works at the grocery store, whom we’ve seen there for years, and when we made it through her line she asked, “When are you due?” I kind of missed it so I had her repeat it and I was like, “OH! April! Mid-April.” And then we had a very nice conversation about baby essentials. Yay!

Absolutely no one else who doesn’t already know has said ANYTHING to me this whole time, which… I find kind of weird. I mean, YES, I’m grateful strangers are not trying to touch my belly, but I feel like my condition is obvious by this point and I would not be offended if someone remarked (positively) about it. So thank you, Fred Meyer checker lady.

People still don’t move for me on public transit. I still think this is the fault of my circus-tent-esque coat. Daniel disagrees, and I suppose it could be that everyone who rides public transit is a jerk, but I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. I just feel like people are trained not to say ANYTHING about pregnancy so as not to offend anyone who might not be even if they look like it, so even though I look rounder than normal underneath my coat, people are not falling over themselves to let me sit.

Clothing

I finally broke down and bought new bras. Mine have been a constant source of pain and suffering for WEEKS now and the last straw was this weekend when an underwire stabbed through its casing and poked me. I have been too lazy to go to Nordstrom and get refitted so I’ve been putting off buying better-fitting ones because I don’t know what size I am now. Fortunately, some bra manufacturers are sympathetic to my plight and offer handy S-M-L type sizing, so I hazarded a guess and in theory some undergarments are making their way to my door as we speak. (I am crossing my fingers SO HARD that they fit.)

I also got a slew of maternity shirts. I think I’m starting to reach the limit of what my pre-pregnancy tees can handle and I only have three actual maternity tees, so once these new ones arrive I’ll give them a test run. I just hate maternity shirts that don’t come back under your belly after they hit the largest part – it’s so much more flattering when they hug your belly instead of hanging off it like a stupid tent. I refuse to buy those kinds of shirts. I think I got good ones, but I’ll have to wait and see.

Baby Shower?

People keep asking me, and no, I have no idea. I wish I did. About the best I’ve heard is that someone, somewhere, may or may not be planning something. Maybe. Daniel is the only person that has heard this information and he was apparently sworn to secrecy and insists he doesn’t know anything beyond that. I’ve never heard of a baby shower being a surprise, so I’m a little anxious about that but I’m told any input I have can be passed through Daniel and it will get to the mystery shower-thrower.

So! Because I like to be helpful: my dream baby shower is one that does not involve gross games (I’m not really anti-games, exactly, I just don’t want to have to eat weird things or be forced to make a belly cast or something) but that does involve candy and delicious citrus beverages and very Martha Stewart-y touches. (You know, garlands and decorated cookies and the like.) Just, ah, throwing that out there. Here is a gallery I started on Flickr for some inspiration – I’ll probably continue adding to it for a while.

We did start a registry on Amazon, mostly because it’s easy to find anything there and I could add items from other websites. I think a lot of the stuff is probably available at Target but it seemed easier to have one registry instead of two.

Childbirth Classes

Ours start this week! I’m not really sure what to expect but I am told to bring two pillows, a small blanket or towel, and dress in loose comfortable clothing.

Baby and Me

Here I am at 28 weeks:

At my appointment today, my midwife had a chat with me about my weight gain. On the plus side, I gained less between the last appointment and this one than I thought I would, but on the minus side, I started out about 30lbs overweight and have since gained 40-ish pounds. And I still have twelve more weeks to go. Eeep. So they told me to go from 1% milk down to nonfat, avoid soda and fast food (which I do already and did before I got pregnant), and, uh, not eat constantly. Which I have been attempting. My body is just REALLY REALLY GOOD at gaining weight. I’d be great at hibernating!

Baby appears to be head down. Yay! I don’t know how they can tell this by skooshing my belly around but the midwife declared him head-down, which I had been guessing at for a while since it feels like feet are in my ribs most of the time. Heartbeat sounded good, and I got a paper telling me to make another ultrasound appointment to check Baby’s growth. Woo! I am hoping he’s not built like a tank, but we shall see.

Oh god only 12 more weeks

April seems really far off. Like a very long ways away. And then I think, oh! Twelve weeks! And that is not a very long time at all and OMG PANIC.

“Nursery” Progress

Our crib arrived this week so we spent an evening putting it together. There was only one frustration-induced break taken and we didn’t break anything or dismember each other so I’m calling it a success. Crib is currently in the living room but will be moved to the bedroom once I can figure out some kind of configuration that works.

We also successfully purchased the shorter version of our IKEA bookshelves to replace those horrible white cubbies. It looks SO much nicer now! I want to get little bins to organize the shelves so stuff isn’t just crammed in there, but that’s where Baby’s clothes and diaper covers are for the time being.

Dumb question: You are supposed to wash stuff before the baby comes in contact with it, right? Like crib sheets or clothes? I haven’t washed any tiny things yet but I’m guessing I probably should.

Diaper bag?

I am confused about diaper bags. Do I actually need a specific bag? It seems like my Timbuk2 messenger would work just fine so I’m hesitant to get some huge floral thing if I don’t need it. Or is it just that “diaper” bags are very huge compartmentalized purses and therefore need their own name? (Does a diaper bag double as your purse or do you use both?) HALP.

How am I?

Symptom-wise, fine, mostly. My feet get chubby off and on but I can’t manage to relate it to anything (too much salt? too little water?) so I’ve just been living with it. My belly got REALLY REALLY itchy this last week or two, so I’ve been moisturizing and trying not to scratch. I think it’s mostly the new stretch marks.

I’ve been getting really warm this last week as well. I think my office is overcompensating for the weather because it’s really not that cold outside but the heat is turned up pretty high and I keep getting outrageously warm.

I did have one bout of dizziness on Sunday that was pretty lame – I felt dizzy as soon as I got up and just felt “off” for the rest of the day. Nothing serious, just a vague but persistent woozy feeling that got worse if I shut my eyes. I drank a lot of water and spent the day on the couch and then felt fine Monday.

Emotion-wise, I’m feeling a little bummed out this week. I don’t actually feel that huge, but after seeing people much farther along than I am looking much smaller or hearing about those ladies, I get really worried for the next couple of months and the time when I will be as big as a bus. I don’t want to be as big as a bus! This isn’t some kind of fat-phobia thing, this is me wondering WHY the universe decided to deprive me of a torso that could accommodate this baby and WHY I thought it was a good idea to get pregnant when I’m this short. That said, I guess if she can do it I can do it, right? Yes?

TANGENT: I am just going to state for the record that I think a lot of the general public is grossly unfamiliar with the bellies of full-term women, and that’s why so many women get the, “Are you sure it’s not twins?!?” question when they’re a few months from their due date. (I myself have not gotten this question but I expect I’ll get it eventually.)

The lady in this photo looks like a very normal pregnant person to me, perhaps nearing her due date but she doesn’t look outrageously large. And yet, one of the early comments is “Twins. At least.” Which… UGH. I just think the public isn’t used to seeing full-term women, so when they do they assume HUGENESS and QUINTUPLETS and IMMINENT BIRTHING. Eeeeesh this is irritating to me.

How is Baby?

His movements changed a bit this week from primarily kicks to more rolling around and stretching. I still get some strong jabs but there’s often a butt or something underneath my ribs that I can feel pushing around. I mean, I still can’t tell if it’s a butt or a head or something else entirely but I’m going to guess butt. Baby definitely prefers my right side – I rarely feel anything on the left.

There have also been some “fluttery” movements which might be hiccups? It feels like the sensation when you waggle a sheet of metal or a metal ruler – it’s hard to explain. It almost feels like the jiggles you get when you laugh, but somehow I doubt Baby is having a giggle fit in there so I am guessing hiccups. It only lasts for a few seconds though which is why I’m not sure; perhaps baby hiccups don’t last as long as adult hiccups?

Baby should be around two pounds and roughly 15 inches long, head to toe, or about the size of an eggplant.

Restraint

This last week or so, I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to not go overboard when eating. I still rarely feel full and want to eat everything in sight, but I’m trying to get my body to realize that HEY, if I have just finished a bowl of cereal, I probably do not need three more bowls. It’s going okay so far. I’m hoping that I can keep this up (rather than indulging every fake hunger whim) so that my weight at my next appointment in a few weeks won’t be quite so shocking.

Learning to Wrap

I recently purchased a Moby-style wrap to tote Baby around in and spent an evening figuring out how to tie it. I was confused at first how you manage to get the baby in and out without dropping it on its head, but with some YouTube videos and instructions, I think my trusty stuffed robot sidekick and I figured it out.

I’m vaguely planning on using wraps/slings versus a stroller for most situations, since I HATE pushing shopping carts and I think a stroller would be just as bad. There’s just something about having the thing you’re pushing so far out in front of you that I really don’t like. Maybe it’s because I’m short? Whatever the reason, I’m very happy with my wrap so far and am looking into different carriers/slings so I can have a variety to choose from.

Baby’s Space

In terms of the “nursery” or “how we are preparing for Baby” I’ve got nothing. Here are two photos which illustrate just that:

Here we have the carseat (Chicco Keyfit 30 in “Miro”) and the Bumbo seat, along with the two Boppy pillows I found at Goodwill, stuffed in a corner of the living room that acts as our office. In theory we could install the carseat already (or at least the base), but we just haven’t done it yet.

Here we have some cubbies in our living room that I am desperate to replace because I hate them. Baby’s cubby is the top right one and it’s filled with various sizes of diaper covers, a wet pail bag, Snappis, some baby pants, jammies, and a few onesies. The top left cubby is the overflow and contains a tiny pair of jeans and overalls as well as a striped onesie.

THIS IS OUR NURSERY. WELCOME TO IT.

Grah. First order of business (which I just completed, YAY!) is to order the Co-Sleeper crib we want so that Baby has somewhere to sleep. We’ll have to rearrange the bedroom a bit but this is what will work best for now. There’s no way we’d fit a full-size crib in there.

(Seriously though, for how small babies are, cribs are gigantic. Daniel took a look at a couple of IKEA ones and asked me why babies need an Olympic swimming pool sized bed. I told him I had no idea but they are awfully large. )

Second order of business is to replace those horrible white cubbies with the shorter version of the nice tall bookshelves we have right next to them. We made a fruitless trip to IKEA yesterday to purchase them but they were out of stock. Daniel is going to try again today to see if they’re available.

Third order of business is to figure out where Baby’s clothes will live. This might be in the as-yet-unpurchased bookshelf, or it might be in an as-yet-unpurchased dresser that may end up living in our bedroom closet. I did a bunch of bedroom measuring and we’re still trying to figure out the best configuration that will allow us each a dresser, plus the bed, nightstand, crib, and possibly hampers.

Our bedroom is about 9×12′ and our queen-size bed takes up 5×7′ of that space, and then there are windows and closet doors to deal with as well. It’s hard to work with but we’ll make things fit.

Mah Belleh

Here’s me at 26 weeks:

Ahoy Baby! I look very pregnant. I am getting some stretch marks like I knew I would, but they’re not scary looking. The worst one is from my now-empty bellybutton piercing spot – I took the barbell out around 15 weeks or so because it wasn’t tall enough. I’m just glad I have (had?) an innie bellybutton so my shirt is still flat in front! I will say that it is very weird to suddenly have the inside of your bellybutton be able to sense things though – I told Daniel it’s like when your fingernails have been long for a long time and you cut them, and all of a sudden bits of your skin that never felt things before are feeling things and it’s not really painful but it’s very weird.

Also! Great news: My hip/pelvis pain has improved in the last couple of weeks. (!!!) I didn’t want to mention anything for fear of jinxing it but I can roll over onto my side again! I do have to be in just the right position so it doesn’t hurt and a pillow is almost always involved, but I can lay on my side for short periods of time! I am still mostly sleeping on my back with a zillion pillows but this gives me a tiny bit of variety.

Overall, I have very little to complain about. I mean sure, my feet swell up sometimes and my back hurts after I walk for a while, but I’ve had no weird bleeding or cramps or anything scary and for the most part I feel fine. Yay!

Only a dream

I had a dream last night that I was featured in a tabloid magazine for gaining a ton of weight. It was like, “103?! Not anymore! Pregnancy causes Meggan to balloon out overnight!” or something of that nature, accompanied by a terribly unflattering paparazzi photo of me. Delightful!

Baby appointment

I assume this dream was because we had another appointment yesterday, and let’s just say I am not following the guidelines set out for me for weight gain. My body enthusiastically gains weight at the slightest provocation, so housing a small child sends it into fits of blubbery glee and sends my midwives into awkward conversations involving blaming it on the holidays. I mean, yes, I did eat way more cookies than I should have in the last couple of weeks, but this is basically the way my body works. I’m not upset about my weight, and while I do think the number is a tiny bit alarming, I swear I could live off bags of salad and my body would find a way to gain weight so I am not freaking out.

Baby sounds good, heart rate is around 150 or so which is right within normal ranges. I asked about my feet swelling and was told to keep doing what I’m doing and make sure to get up and walk around occasionally at work. They also mentioned getting an extra ultrasound to confirm Baby’s growth! I had no idea I’d be able to get another one. My midwife said we’d talk about it at my next appointment.

I also have to re-do the glucose test since the first one was just to be on the safe side. At least I know what it’s like now, so I won’t be freaking out about it ahead of time. Really hoping I don’t fail this one! I passed the first one with flying colors but who knows what has happened since then.

Part of the weight thing might also be because I am hungry ALL THE TIME. I eat breakfast and immediately want another bowl of cereal. I eat lunch and I think about how many more lunches I could eat. I’m trying to be reasonable and drink water to fill me up, but I hate never feeling full.

Baby clothes

I’m starting to think that maybe I should have some clothes for Baby to wear once he arrives, but how do I know how much clothing I need, and of what sort and sizes? I assume Baby will live in onesies for quite some time, but if I want to buy a totally adorable but somewhat expensive baby sweater, how do I know what size to get it in so he’ll get the most use out of it? I don’t want him to suffer through wearing bulky sweaters in the middle of summer so I can get my money’s worth.

I have read Amalah’s article about how to dress a newborn which addressed some of those issues, and I’ve also heard to wait until someone throws you a baby shower and then fill in the gaps from there. This makes sense to me I suppose, but I desperately want to buy a cute sweater. I had to forcibly pry myself away from Hanna Andersson sweaters a couple of weeks ago but OMG they are having a sale now and I just got paid… ARGH.

Also, since I know how to make both bibs and baby pants, it’s INCREDIBLY difficult for me to purchase any. This is regardless of whether or not I think I’ll actually make a bunch of bibs and/or baby pants, because lord knows I am great at procrastinating, so Baby might end up bib-less and pants-less. Unless I get my act together.

Christmas Eve this year marked 24 weeks of pregnancy for me, meaning that if – heaven forbid – Baby were to be born, he would at least have a chance at survival. Babies born prior to 24 weeks are often too fragile and underdeveloped to make it. As such, I am very, very thankful that we’ve made it this far and hope we continue to rack up the weeks with Baby baking safely inside.

Holiday Travel

Oh man. So, we took the train home for Christmas, and everything went fine until we hit Spokane. Then we got news that the other leg of the train coming from Seattle was stuck behind a derailed freight train, and would be four hours late reaching Spokane. ARGH. We sat on the train at the Spokane station from 12am until 5am (it takes about an hour for them to service the trains and join them together) and finally made it into Sandpoint at 6:20am.

I would have done fine except for some reason my feet decided to swell up like the characters in Wall-E and it was so uncomfortable! I had fat little sausage feet. They’ve never done that before but the train was super warm so maybe that aggravated it? Either way, they’ve been chubby off and on since then so I’ve been drinking water and trying to lay with my feet elevated when I can.

Baby Stuffs

Baby more or less cooperated with family members wanting to feel kicks – my cousin and Daniel’s sister each got a few really good ones. He’s still pretty sneaky, but it’s getting a little easier to tell what’s going on in there so I can tell people where to put their hands.

Baby should be around a foot long and about 1.3 pounds this week. Sometimes this seems really little and then sometimes this seems OMG ENORMOUS and I start wondering how he manages to fit in my tummy. And then I remember he is supposed to weigh something like SEVEN TIMES this amount when he’s born and I get freaked out.

We received a bunch of totally adorable things for Baby for Christmas. We got two different dinosaur themed footie pajamas, a photo album, tiny scrapbook, and a large hardback book of Mother Goose nursery rhymes. I also got Baby a pacifier clip and a crinkly toy owl for his stocking.

My mom gave me a hand-knitted ear-flap hat that I think will fit Baby next winter. Apparently she was trying to knit a hat for one of my brother’s friends but kept making it too small, so after a few attempts she ran with it and just made a small baby hat.

Also, my cousins’ kids are so cute! We got to play with them on Christmas and it was a lot of fun. We were talking about baby gear and one cousin offered to give me her gently-used Medela breast pump! She said she bought it to replace the last one she had, but only ended up using it for a couple of months before they cut down on nursing and didn’t need it anymore. Score!

More owly things

Among other things, Daniel got me the cutest tea set ever and I can’t wait to use it. I am still dying of cuteness.

Car update

We hold the keys! And we have made duplicates in case we lock ourselves out! I am still trying to figure out the process of transferring ownership but we are going to commit to purchasing insurance tonight (fingers-crossed) and then we can submit all the title transfer informationy stuffs. Hurrah!