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I had my six-week postpartum checkup today and I have several things to report.

Thing the first

Edited to add: In the interest of full disclosure, I began thinking that this 60lbs thing was too good to be true, and I hopped on our (admittedly inaccurate) home scale and discovered a horrible discrepancy. The number the doctor’s scale gave me was 30lbs off from what our home scale told me. SO! Perhaps I was not as awesome as I thought. DANG. Still sort of awesome (I am MORE than happy with a 30lb weight loss) but… I felt dishonest not mentioning what I discovered today. (Argh.) (I don’t know what may have happened with the dr’s scale – perhaps it needs recalibration?)

I have lost all of my pregnancy weight, plus two pounds. This is nothing short of amazing, and no one is more surprised or delighted than me. Historically, I have a very very easy time gaining weight and an incredibly difficult time losing weight. Pre-delivery, I kept telling people that I would be happy to lose ANYTHING after having the baby. One pound would have made me happy – that’s how hard it is for me to lose weight. I didn’t even have the goal of losing the weight of the actual BABY.

To put this in perspective: I gained 60lbs while pregnant. This is roughly twice the recommended amount, but I swear that I did not do anything out of the ordinary – my body is just very good at packing on pounds. I lost 30lbs by two weeks, most of which was water weight because I was so grossly swollen by the end. and then through the power of magic and breastfeeding, I lost another 30 pounds in the following month.

ME! I LOST 60 30 POUNDS! I want to shout this from the freaking rooftops!

Thing the second

Before you come after me with pitchforks and torches, I am still in my maternity jeans. I may be slightly lighter than I was pre-pregnancy, but I am much larger and differently shaped. I tried on my favorite pair of black pants yesterday and managed to get them up, but was unable to even consider zipping or buttoning them. I am going to have to figure out what my new size is and try to find some relatively inexpensive pants before I go back to work in six (short) weeks.

Thing the third

I got an IUD today; specifically, the Mirena. Insertion was not the most pleasant thing I’ve experienced, but it was less painful than the cervical checks I had during labor and felt mostly like an extended pap smear. I’m interested to see how I feel about the Mirena – I like the idea of not having to think about birth control, but I do worry that it’ll mess with my body or my moods or something. I usually tolerate hormones pretty well, but you never know.

Thing the fourth

We got Wesley this swing and I am happy to note that it arrived in the mail today. I wanted to wait to get that kind of baby gadget so we knew if he was the sort of baby that liked swings or hated them, and after we set it up and tried it out I’m confident that we’ll get a lot of use out of it. I like that it’s not super loudly-colored like most baby gadgets.

In fact, he is having so much fun in it, he is refusing to go to sleep right now. Heh.

I got tagged for something! Cristina completed this short little post prompt and tagged me to do the same.

Rules:

List three things you’re good at, three things you like about your life, three things you like about your personality and three things you like about your looks. Then challenge five people to do the same.

My answers:

Three things I’m good at:
1. Writing emails. I think I tend to go overboard on providing information sometimes, but I’ve been praised at work for the thorough and helpful emails I send. I do a lot of proofreading.
2. Giving design feedback. I really like reviewing sites, critiquing, and offering suggestions. I’m a front-end developer by nature but my college degree is technically in web design, so I like to think I know what I’m talking about most of the time.
3. Simple sewing projects. I don’t know if I’d be up for tackling anything with sleeves anytime soon, but I can make baby pants and bibs and dresses and toys just fine.

Three things I like about my life:
1. I have a lovely husband and am thankful I get to spend the rest of my life with him
2. We have an active little baby on the way and I am so thrilled that we get to experience this new adventure together
3. We both live close to work so we don’t spend a lot of time commuting, and I really like that.

Three things I like about my personality:
1. My ability to think logically and to problem solve
2. My inherent mother-hen-ness, even if it annoys my husband/friends sometimes
3. My sense of humor

Three things I like about my looks:
1. My hair – I’ve been told I have totally awesome highlights, and that I’m really lucky that my hair color comes naturally. I’ve never dyed my hair so I don’t really know what it’s like to not have hair like this, but I do like the color.
2. My eyes – I have the same color green eyes as my dad
3. My lips – I’ve been blessed with full lips, so I’ve never had to worry about plumping lip gloss. (That stuff stings! Yow!)

I’m horrible at tagging people but feel free to nab this if you’d like to participate. (And let me know if you do, I’ll put up a link.)

I’ve always said I wanted to be a young(-ish) mother, and it looks like that might come true – Daniel and I are having a baby!

(I’ll let that sink in for a second.)

I am 12 weeks along, due mid-April, and absolutely thrilled. We weren’t trying, but we weren’t not trying so it was an expected surprise. I’ve known for a couple months now and it has been so incredibly difficult to not blab the news to the world before we were ready. (The risk of miscarriage drops significantly once you hit 12 weeks and once you hear the heartbeat, so we wanted to wait, just in case.)

We are planning on finding out the gender, since I think the whole thing is surprising enough that the gender doesn’t ALSO need to be a surprise.

I had my first prenatal appointment on Wednesday, and we got to hear the baby’s heartbeat! My midwife told me that sometimes they find the heartbeat right away and sometimes it takes several minutes – both are completely normal. That said, it took FOR-EV-ER to find and scared the hell out of me. You’re just lying there, staring at the ceiling, having these horrible doom-and-gloom thoughts as the minutes tick by and all you can hear is static on the Doppler machine. Ugh! Finally though, I heard a different noise for a split second and she said, “Oh! There it was! Let me find it again.” I wasn’t sure if that’s what I heard so I was happy to know that it was. She poked around some more and found it again and let us listen for a few seconds. Squee!

I’m going with a midwifery clinic as opposed to a typical OB doctor for many reasons, most of which I won’t get into here. (I could do many posts on that topic alone.) Suffice to say, I prefer their model of care and am very happy with the care I’ve received so far.

How did you find out?

My periods have always been very predictible and regular, and I was supposed to start on a Monday. It didn’t happen, but I was under a lot of stress at work at the time and I knew that could whack things out so I didn’t get too worried. Then it was Tuesday… and then Wednesday… and I thought, hmm. This is a definite possibility – I should probably test.

So on Thursday after work I zoomed to a dollar store (they have tests for $1 each as opposed to the grocery store’s $20-for-two, and are just as, if not more accurate) and bought four tests. You know, just in case.

I practically ran home – Daniel was still at work and I wanted to know before he got home instead of being caught in the bathroom like, HEY! I took the test and waited for the results to come up. I didn’t watch it.

After the recommended number of minutes, I looked over, and BAM! Positive! It was not even faint, like you’d have to squint and hold it up to the light. It was unmistakable.

How did you tell Daniel?

Nothing fancy, I’m afraid. I cut out the piece of the box that said what the lines meant and placed that and the test on a wooden stool we have around the apartment, and put one of the cloth napkins I sewed on top to camouflage it.

When he came home, I told him, “I have a surprise for you! You should come over here.” and then I told him to gently lift the napkin up.

It took him a second to check it out and read the box, and then he was like, “Oh. OH! Congratulations!” and I yelled “Surprise!” and he gave me a big hug.

What did the parents say?

So far, everyone has been super happy for us. YAY! Everyone immediately starts suggesting wretched names you’d never bestow on an infant, so that has been funny.

How are you feeling?

Oddly, pretty much fine. I haven’t thrown up at all. I feel sick occasionally, usually when I haven’t eaten in a while, but as long as I keep snacking it goes away. I haven’t slept very well for the past couple of weeks but the last two nights have been better so hopefully I’m over that. I get pretty sleepy early in the day (8 or 8:30pm) and I have been falling asleep watching David Attenborough wildlife documentaries for about the past month, haha. Honestly though, I really do feel very good, all things considered.

OMG!

I know!

I am so so amazingly happy, and I am so happy I get to share this journey with you. I promise not to be obnoxious, but I will be posting belly pics here and talking about babies, so… there’s that. Huge thank you to all of you who knew ahead of time and abided by my request to “Please just don’t tell the Internet!” You’re the best.

Squee!

The lovely Nikki from SnailBird has organized a Design + Music + Inspiration Project, and I’ve agreed to participate! She’s trying to get a feel for what designers listen to and what their combined playlists would sound like. If you’d like to participate also, check out the Design Music!Inspiration entry and comment to sign up.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should preface this with the note that I am a web developer by trade and only an occasional web designer. The majority of design work I do is only for this site (and my portfolio site, I guess) because even if I take on freelance projects, it’s usually for someone who already has a design and needs it built out. That said, I still think this applies and I’m excited to participate.

What’s your favorite genre of music?

Metal. That said, I listen to everything from alternative indie pop stuff to scary things in other languages, so I am pretty open. I listen to a fair amount of black metal (Borknagar, Opeth), industrial (Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein), folky Nordic metal (Storm, Otyg), goth/doom metal (Type O Negative, Sisters of Mercy), alternative (They Might Be Giants), indie (The Decemberists, Neutral Milk Hotel), and pop (Lily Allen). I tend to have favorite bands rather than favorite generes, because I listen to so many different kinds of stuff.

Do you listen to that genre while designing or does it change?

Not generally. If I have a particular song stuck in my head, I will listen to that, but I think most stuff I listen to is too abrasive for thoughtful work.

Do you tend to listen to any artist in particular while designing?

Sigur Rós! Their stuff is so amazingly perfect for design or development work. It’s symphonic enough to be calming, but has either a beat or is loud enough that you get a rhythm going in your work. Plus, depending on the album, the lyrics are either in Icelandic or a nonsense language that mimics Icelandic, so you don’t get too caught up in what the vocalist is saying and can focus on your work. Phenomenal and totally recommended. (If you’ve seen The Life Aquatic, Starálfur is the song that comes on when Zissou & co. are in the sub and they see the leopard shark. LOVE IT.)

Do you find that different song styles or beats influence the style of your designing? Vice versa?

Hm. I’ll say that if I really get on a roll, I want some pumping music behind me. That’s more for development, I guess, but Rammstein or NIN are great for that. When I’m thinking, or working on fiddly designy things, I prefer something more mellow like The Decemberists or Neutral Milk Hotel so it doesn’t get in my way. I think my designs and my development needs influence my listening rather than the other way around.

What program/site do you use to listen to music?

iTunes. I don’t use Pandora since we’re not allowed to stream music at work, and then I forget to use it once I’m home. I usually prefer to listen to a whole album at once rather than a party shuffle or something, so I like iTunes for that because I can play things by album easily.

And finally, could you live without music? Design?

No, and no! ALL THE BEAUTY WOULD BE GONE FROM THE WORLD. I just rediscovered this article on A List Apart called “In Defense of Eye Candy” and realized it’s more or less what I wrote my thesis on in college. People perceive attractive things to work better and to be more trustworthy, and it’s the function of the designer to facilitate this experience. I’d be so sad without that!

What song best sums up your design style and/or the music you listen to while designing?

Since I mentioned it before, let’s say Starálfur by Sigur Rós. I think it best sums up the music I listen to when I do either design or development. I’d definitely recommend that entire album though; it’s called Ágætis Byrjun. (And since I was thinking about all this, I had to grab my iPod to listen to this album!)

Thanks, Nikki! This was fun and I hope you get some great responses.

I have finally done it – I signed up for a non-credit German course! I’ve wanted to learn German FOREVER and, while I own a ton of books meant for teaching yourself, I really haven’t progressed farther than learning to say things like “the hedgehog” in my head because I don’t know how to pronounce anything.

I do have a “Learn German” computer program that lets you speak into a microphone and it grades you on your pronunciation, so that has helped a bit. That said, it’s super embarrassing to use and I’ve probably only messed with it two or three times. (Sad! I wanted it really bad when I first got it but we didn’t have a microphone for our computer when I was in high school.)

As far as languages go, I took a year of Spanish in high school but was thwarted by the Worst Teach Ever in the second half of the year (my lovely, wonderful initial Spanish teacher went on maternity leave) and learned nothing. Or if I learned anything, it was idiotic and useless like “the elephants eat peanut soup.” I taught myself how to say “I am a piece of toast” in the sixth grade and that remains the only Spanish phrase I can reliably recite.

I also took an “Afternoon Academy” class (a simple, after-school program for elementary-age children) for French when I was probably seven years old. About all I remember is how to count to ten, and that we ate cheese and bread in class.

So! I am very excited. I don’t really have a use for learning German, I suppose, but I would love to know it nonetheless. My first class is on March 31 so I will definitely post about my progress. Squee!

How do you “reset” yourself after you’ve had a particularly horrible dream?

I’m not talking about a nightmare, though I suppose this could qualify. I’m talking about the sort of dream that’s painfully normal – no werewolves, chase scenes, or the supernatural – but very intense and upsetting. A dream so normal, in fact, that you’re convinced it was real several minutes after you’ve woken up.

The subject of my dream last night is mostly irrelevant; it had to do with hurt, embarrassment and betrayal, but I woke up from it with this horrible, rattled, gross feeling that I couldn’t really shake. I know it isn’t real, but I can’t say that helped a lot. The cast of characters included a ton of people I know in real life, including Daniel, his co-workers, some of our Portland friends and some friends from high school; the setting was just someone’s house, having a normal house party; I woke up feeling ashamed and very sad.

This has happened to me once before (the subject matter was way more graphic that time though) and it left me feeling very rattled and vulnerable all day. Do these kinds of dreams happen to any of you? How do you walk yourself through them?

Since everyone else seems to be doing it, here are my resolutions for the upcoming year:

• Entertain at home more often

  I know you are supposed to quantify goals (“once a month,” “four times a year” etc.) but I’m not really interested in quantifying this particular goal, since anything I choose will be vastly higher than how often I entertained people last year. I really want to have a dinner party or a cocktail party or something early in 2009. Perhaps once our new couch gets delivered (January 10th!).

• Wear skirts / dresses more often

  I am pretty sure that most of my skirt + shirt outfits fit better on me and look nicer than most of my shirt + jeans outfits, and I would like to encourage myself to dress that way more often.

• Use all 10 times on my snowboard pass

  For “owning all my gear,” getting ready for snowboard season this year has been expensive. Okay, okay, I did choose the nicer snowpants, but I budget shopped on everything else (boots, bindings, and goggles). Still, I’d like to make the most of it by not wasting any days on my pass. This should be a pretty easy goal to hit since a lot of my co-workers are going boarding this year and I will be going with them, but I am writing it down so I can hold myself to it.

• Sew a throw pillow cover

  Also pretty simple. Now that we bought a new couch, I want to spruce it up with some festive throw pillows and it is much cheaper to sew your own than spend $30 per pillow in stores.

• Post at least once per week

  This posting schedule looks like it will be my comfort zone from here on out. For several years, I posted every single day (YEARS of NaBloPoMo!) and once I got a job, I just couldn’t keep it up and my post rate dropped dramatically. I have been better in the last month or two, but I’d like to commit to definitely posting once per week if not more.

2008 was an eventful year, mostly because of the wedding. WE GOT MARRIED WOOOO! Planning took up most of the beginning of the year, and then the actual wedding seems to have taken up the middle. Work stuff took over my autumn, and then here we are in winter!

Daniel and I are about to head out to dinner with some friends so I’m off, but I wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year and say thanks for all the support, comments, and well-wishes you’ve sent me over the past year. I appreciate it very, very much.

So, we re-tested yesterday and it’s official: Not only did I not lose any inches around my waist or hips, I managed to gain three pounds. This bumped me from a weight I was unhappy but somewhat comfortable with to a weight that is just over half of a REALLY REALLY BIG NUMBER of which I am very scared.

BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I know. I know it’s “not about the number,” I know it’s “how you feel” or “how your clothes fit” that matters. BUT. Since I did not lose any inches anywhere AND I gained weight, my clothes do not fit any differently. I do not feel different.

For once, I would like my efforts to pay off. JUST ONCE. It would prove to me that at least it’s possible, that I am capable of seeing change in myself and that working toward a goal is not a huge waste of my time. I do not yet know this.

I have been trying to think of what I would like to do when this class is over next week, and I’m having a hard time coming up with something that still seems fun but isn’t wildly expensive or difficult to maintain. Since we lost the option of a free bus pass at work, I’m now hesitant to pick something that will require me to use the bus to get to, like any classes on the East side or where my current class meets.

We live close to a couple gyms, but I don’t know the first thing about gym memberships and I don’t want to get ripped off. I doubt Daniel would get a membership with me, but the girls at work all go to the same gym so I guess I could start there, but I don’t want to take the same classes as them because they are waaaay more fit than I am. It would just be embarrassing.

I did manage to purchase a Wii Fit, so I have been using that every day this week (well, except for Friday) and I have found that I have fantastic balance. The games are all pretty fun (with the exception of the tightrope walk – how the heck do you get it to recognize you are taking steps? Argh!) and so far my favorite activity is the Hula Hooping. Wii Fit shames you into working out every day so I’m thinking I can at least do something to keep myself in shape while I figure out what I want to do next.

The past two days have been uncharacteristically crappy. Yesterday started out okay, but toward the afternoon it just got worse.

For my workout class, I have to bring my stuff (workout clothes, any accessories like a yoga mat or resistance bands) with me to work in the morning since I don’t have time to go home in between. I appreciate knowing what we’re doing ahead of time, so I looked at the schedule the night before and brought the appropriate things with me. Then, I got an email around 3pm yesterday saying, “Class has been changed from Budokon to strength training, please bring good shoes and resistance bands!” Well, I had a yoga mat and my Chaco sandals, because you use a mat and don’t wear shoes in Budokon. I tried emailing one of the girls to clarify the change but I heard from her later that she was out of the office by the time I emailed, so I couldn’t run home and get the proper equipment.

So I had crap shoes for running around and exercising, plus I really disliked our instructor. He talked the entire time in a jokey, “funny” way and would mime things and generally made an ass of himself, and then would say things like, “You probably all wish I would just go away and never come back! HA HA HA!” except most people found this funny and I was having murderous thoughts.

THEN, I went home to have dinner. I wanted cereal. I opened the refrigerator to discover that we were out of milk, but of course this was after I already poured a giant bowl of delicious Trader Joe’s frosted mini-wheats.

So I decided to make french toast, only to see that our eggs had expired. I decided I was desperate. The eggs had only been expired for a couple days and eggs keep a long time anyway, so I went for it. The griddle was being weird and so the french toast came out a bit strange, but I didn’t care. I loaded them up with peanut butter (you know, for some protein) in anticipation of slathering it with maple syrup. I grabbed the maple syrup to discover it had gone bad and there was a disgusting layer of squicky mold-like film on the surface of the syrup.

I decided to fuck nutrition and poured powdered sugar over my french toast instead. And then I drank a (cane sugar!) soda. (Doesn’t that just sound disgusting? I am ashamed I ate that for dinner.)

Cut to today:
You know how I just got a new cell plan on AT&T? They decided to have massive coverage outages all morning and nobody’s phones were working for hours.

To make matters worse, then there’s this: At work, we have annual bus passes. We got them last year around this time so they expire in two weeks. We got an email today that said the price has gone up astronomically (a $20,000 price hike) and the company has decided they can no longer afford to give them to employees for free, so we are to purchase our own passes and we will get reimbursed for 50%.

Problem is, yearly passes are almost a thousand dollars. And if you don’t want a lapse in “coverage,” you have to buy one within two weeks – that’s TWO WEEKS to come up with $946 dollars. Our alternative is to buy a monthly pass for $86 (which comes out to being $1032 for the year) of which we will be reimbursed 50%, but you have to have that money up front too. And it USED to be free for us. The other OTHER alternative is to just pay the fee daily (basically forgo the pass altogether) but it’s $1.75 twice a day and rates are going up in September. And I now have a monthly cell phone bill to pay, and I was considering getting a gym membership after my class is over, AND I just upped one of my student loan payments because they lowered it for me but I want to pay it off sooner.

THEN, you will never believe this, I found out that the new Harry Potter movie? The Half-Blood Prince? The one everything thinks is coming out in November? Is actually going to be delayed until JULY 17th OF NEXT YEAR. We have to wait a whole YEAR for the new movie.

I just feel like, really? REALLY? Am I going to come home to find out all my plants have died and my Wii is broken or something? Today and yesterday are just not working out for me. Feeling pretty bummed right about now.

Several weeks ago, I signed up for a fitness class. The company that puts it on used to call it “bootcamp” but they changed the name to make it sound less scary. It meets three times a week (Monday, Wednesday and Saturday) for an hour, and the classes are different each time.

So far, we’ve had a few yoga classes, some pilates, a few mixed martial arts classes, and some cooking and nutrition classes. Eventually, there will also be Nia and Budokon.

It’s been pretty fun – I will say right now that I really wish I had some results to show for it but I don’t. No weight loss, no inches lost. Honestly? I often think my body is incapable of losing weight. Take, for instance, the time I had to have all four wisdom teeth out at once and I couldn’t eat solid food for FOREVER and lived off of slim fast and the occasional tuna sandwich – didn’t lose a pound. The time I moved to Portland and went from driving anywhere I needed to go to ditching the car and walking EVERYWHERE? Nothing doing. The time that I got the flu in college and couldn’t get out of bed for three days or eat anything more than saltines and ginger ale? Nope. The time I got really into using the elliptical machine at an old apartment gym and worked out at least three times a week for three months? NOPE. I have never, ever lost weight. Every time that you see me is the heaviest I have ever been in my whole life, and that is sometimes hard to deal with.

That said, I am far more aware of how little exercise I used to get before I joined this class. I walk about 7 minutes to work in the morning and 7 minutes on the way home, and I take a yoga class once a week for an hour since it’s put on for free at my workplace. I sometimes walk to the grocery store (or back) which is about ¾ mile each way, but that’s sort of it. I don’t have a gym membership, I will not take up running (I tried the Maggot way and managed 17 minutes once (a personal record) and about 13 minutes the second time and nearly had an asthma attack so I stopped) and gymnastics is sort of out of the question at this point.

I still have my exercise DVDs (don’t laugh) but I haven’t been very good about using them. Might be the 2nd story apartment and not wanting to piss off the neighbors, I don’t know. I am going to try to be better about using them, especially since part of my homework for this fitness class is to walk 30 minutes a day, every day.

Part of the process to up my fitness level involves me wanting to get Wii Fit. I finally managed to obtain a Wii (thank heavens) and it has been amazingly rad so far. I am stalking the Wii Fit Tracker like a madwoman to see if it ever goes on sale online, and I missed two “in-stock” notices while at work today because I was in meetings. ARGH.

At any rate, my fitness class is over mid-August and I’m sure I will update with my progress. Cheer me on, will you?

Quick note to say that I turn 23 today. Huzzah!

Today, I smelled blueberries in coffee. This may not sound like something monumental, but as someone widely known to be a coffee dunce marrying someone known to be a coffee fanatic, it is a big step for me.

Daniel is so passionate about coffee that it’s often hard for me to relate – I was not a big coffee drinker before he got into it and am only slightly more so now. He goes to cuppings often (sometimes multiple times per week) to develop his palate and learn more about the individual coffees, where they are grown, and what sort of taste profile they have. It is very much like wine tasting, which I am also crap at.

He has me smell all sorts of different coffees and asks if I can sense “berries” or “grapefruit” or “flowers” and I never, ever can. It all smells like coffee to me. I say this jokingly, like, “Oh hey, don’t even bother, it will just smell like coffee to me.” but it does sort of suck not being able to share it with him.

I mean, really, the guy knows why you should not use tables in website layouts. The least I can do is sniff coffee.

And today, TODAY, he was meticulously showing me how to make coffee with his pretty new Eva Solo full immersion coffeemaker, and had me sniff the Stumptown Hairbender Blend in his grinder and then sniff the Ethiopia Biloya we were using for our coffee and OMG IT WORKED. The Hairbender is a blend of several different sorts of coffee and that compared with the Biloya actually gave me a basis for comparison and I could totally smell the berry-ness of it. (The berry flavor, as Daniel so kindly just explained to me, comes from the way the beans are initially processed – they leave the bean inside the coffee cherry to dry, and then they take it out and process it, so the bean absorbs some of the sugars and other stuff from the cherry before it moves on.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I almost cried. Seriously. Finally being able to discern some sort of flavor in coffee was huge for me. Daniel never makes me feel like I disappoint him in coffee endeavors, but I always feel guilty on some level that I can’t manage to “get” any of it. Today gave me hope that I can not be so much of a coffee dunce in the future.

I am learning, slowly but surely.

Thanks for your responses to my last post. I’m always interested in details of other people’s lives, and I’d love to change my own habits if they prove idiotic. We did some apartment-improvement recently and bought our first kitchen table (JOKKMOKK from IKEA) and a matching set of hampers (the hampers match, I mean – they don’t match the table. That would be weird) so we’ve been combining our laundry into “light-ish” and “colors, dark things and jeans” instead of “his” and “hers” and it seems to be going well so far.

We’ve also talked about putting some reversible magnet on the fridge that shows whose turn it is to get groceries. Then there’s no confusion. I figure I can come up with one out of felt and embroider something clever on it.

In other apartment/flat news, you remember the people below us that smoke up a storm, right? The ones whose blinds are all yellow and disgusting? The ones where, when we mentioned their (forbidden) smoking to the move-in inspector, the inspector chuckled and made an “oh, that’s just them” remark and mentioned how they’d lived there for 18-odd years and they’d just have to replace the blinds when they moved out? There was a pink eviction notice taped to our front door today regarding that unit. EVICTION. Now I am curious what they did to deserve that.

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to post anything interesting since the place I spend most of my time (work) is the exact thing we all know is a bad idea to write about. Be ye not so stupid and all that. Let me just say that my department seems woefully understaffed for the amount of work coming in and it is not so good for the sanity bit of my brain.

I am also having some valid concerns about that thing we have coming up next year that starts with a W. The planning of it, I mean, not the W itself. In short, I am coming up short on enthusiasm from my immediate family and it is ruffling my feathers. Figuratively speaking. Asking for favors is like pulling teeth and I am becoming increasingly frustrated and worried and hurt.

It is difficult to plan a wedding long-distance. I get that. BUT. This location thing? If that is worked out, I can take care of invitations and catering and so many other things over the phone. I don’t have to be there. My problem is that I can’t order save the date cards unless I know where the goddamn thing is going to be held, you know? I’m just getting the distinct impression that this is more of a total pain in the ass rather than a fun event to be excited about. And that makes me feel bad.

That said, it could be worse. I could be having fears that Daniel is not the person I want to marry (he definitely is) or something else equally as important. I am not having those kind of fears and that is a positive thing. Because honestly? I could get married in a dirt hole for all I care as long as we end up married. And that’s the important bit.

One thing I am notoriously bad at is making appointments. I can put off stuff like that forever. I think it’s this newfound hatred of phone conversations that stems from some kind of control issue on my end – I hate being forced to think on the spot. Personal phone calls are perfectly okay; I seem to trust the person on the other end enough to get over my totally irrational fears, but things like calling to make hair appointments are a totally different thing.

Suffice to say, I sucked it up and called the salon to make a hair appointment. You’ll recall that the last time I did this was over seven months ago. What can I say? I had pretty hair for graduation, and then I started putting off making the follow-up appointment under the premise that I had just started work full-time and was getting into the swing of things. Um, it’s since been a VERY LONG WHILE and no, I still don’t think I’m in the swing of things yet but I somehow got the courage to call.

It went well; we talked about houseplants (she loathes them; her husband would love to live in a household jungle, as would her mother) and a bit about weddings (what is it that makes people want every detail? I mean, I like talking about it as much as the next person, but I am continually surprised at how interested people are. I think I am not used to being the center of attention.) and a bit about how I have wonderful natural highlights and how I should “never, ever, dye [my] hair.”

Is it just me, or is hairdresser talk really awkward? I find myself laughing nervously a lot. Maybe my stylist and I do not mesh well? I rather like how she cuts my hair but I hear all these women rave about their stylist and I can’t figure out how they have such an attachment to them. (Side note: I may or may not still be peeved at her for her insinuation that only weird children ask for books for Christmas.)

Also? Daniel has not yet mentioned the hair. He set up his espresso machine in the kitchen today while I was at work and I can only assume he is woozy with excitement over being able to make lattes in his kitchen, because he hasn’t made any sort of remark about it at all and he is usually very, very good about that sort of thing. Any creative ways to mention it that do not involve making him feel wildly guilty for not noticing and that do not involve twirling in a circle saying, “Notice anything different about me?”

I turn 22 today! Daniel and I went to Coeur d’ Alene yesterday and wandered around the farmer’s market for a bit. I looked at some neat handspun yarns and he talked coffee with the guy from Bumper Crop, who was far younger than I expected (for whatever reason). He’s super nice and he knows our friend Rita from Portland, so it was fun talking to him.

In the evening, Daniel and his mom and I went to my parent’s house and my mom helped us make soap! Mom raises goats so we made goat milk soap with some sort of fancy fragrance.

I also bought some yarn yesterday in the hopes of making a baby bib (or two) for my manager, who is supposed to have a baby sometime in August. It should be pretty mindless knitting so we’ll see how far I get with it.

This morning, we’re making popovers and further testing out Daniel’s espresso machine. There were a few glitches in getting it going (a water tube was damaged during shipping) but all seems to be well now and I should be receiving an iced caramel latte pretty soon.

Had a bit of a scare when my work called me the other day to say that I’d have to go on a business trip to New York City the day after I get back from vacation. Fortunately, several people decided it maybe wasn’t the best time for all involved so I get about a month’s reprieve. I’ll still have to go, I think, but not until July-ish. Scared me to death though – I’m not very keen on the idea of a business trip but I suppose I will live and probably even have fun.

Also, we still haven’t looked at any wedding locations, even though that was part of the reason we wanted to come up here. Hopefully, we’ll make it to at least one or two so I don’t have to explain to everyone that no, we’re lame and just didn’t call about it. We might have to mess with the date a bit because I’m still not convinced that Memorial Day weekend was a great idea, but we’ll see. Kind of depends on availability.

Hope you are having a wonderful summer solstice and I am off to eat popovers. :cheer: