Lately, he wakes up and wails until I give him a boob, but instead of trying to eat he starts YELLING. Angry, frustrated yelling, writhing around, etc. Either that or he’ll mouth the boob a bit but not make any kind of effort to latch/suckle and then start yelling. A few nights ago, I had to get up and sit on the edge of the bed and nurse him in the cradle hold every. single. time he woke up. This is a baby who was pleased as punch to nurse side-lying every night for MONTHS and now seems to have forgotten everything he ever knew about nighttime feedings.

Sometimes what ends up working is if I let him have his pacifier for a few seconds, and while he has the sucking rhythm down I quickly swipe out the binky and give him a boob. But it isn’t foolproof. Once, offering the other boob worked; once, we had to specifically wash the nipple shield for that feeding (you’re supposed to wash them after every feeding but hell if I am getting out of bed multiple times a night to wash it – a quick wipe generally suffices); one night we had to thaw some milk and give him a bottle, TWICE, instead of merely breastfeeding him. And then this morning he refused to eat at all. I took him to daycare (arriving at 7:45am) when he hadn’t eaten since 4:15am and he typically likes to eat every two hours, if he even makes it that far.

I don’t know what’s going on. He’s CLEARLY hungry and looking for food; his nursing position is the same when he’s side-lying as when he’s cradle-held; he’ll often stop crying to take a pacifier for a few minutes, but after he realizes it’s not giving him food he starts crying again. He eats perfectly fine during the day (either from me or from the bottle).

Consequently, I am getting less sleep now than I did when he was a newborn. This is a problem. I don’t mind that he wakes up during the night to nurse; I mind that when he wakes up, instead of quietly eating his food and going back to sleep, he yells and screams and makes a fuss until I rouse myself completely and sit up and hold him on my lap to eat, staying awake the whole time.

Is this teething? Demon possession? Sleep regression due to milestones? Ear infection? Do I have a crazy baby?

Help.

Their only downside (besides the obvious caloric one) is that the chocolate flakes off easily when bitten, and there were several occasions in which I would go to change into my jammies after dessert and realize that I had chocolate bits melted on my décolletage or on my face.

Last night, however, took the cake.

We had the lights mostly off in the living room so we could watch some episodes of Veronica Mars. (Season 2, no spoilers please, am now in love with Logan Echolls.) Wesley needed to eat, so I sat on the couch and nursed him while munching on a caramel.

After the episodes were over, Daniel started playing his new video game. During a particularly bright sequence that lit up the room a bit, I noticed something weird about Wesley’s face.

“Oh gross. What in the world.” I thought. “BUGS? WHAT.” And then…

Oh no.

He was COVERED in chocolate. My caramel had flaked chocolate bits all over his face, where they had instantly melted. It was in several spots on the side of his head, all across his cheeks, there was a big spot on the underside of one arm, a tiny one on the back of his onesie, and traces of chocolate smeared near his mouth. I was horrified.

And then I started laughing uncontrollably. Daniel was like, um, what is going on over here? And I was like LOOK AT OUR BABY, LOOK WHAT I HAVE DONE TO HIM.

And I am not going to tell you whether or not I cleaned him by smooching the chocolate off his face.

(He was delicious.)

Wesley and Grammie Angie:

Wesley and Grandpa Ronnie:

Wesley and Uncle Landen:

We went to a local toy store, looked at lots of awesome things and walked out with a Skwish toy for Wesley. He loves it!

Later, we drove to the coast to hang out at Cannon Beach for a while. Wesley had on a super-hip outfit:

Then he napped for something like three hours while I carried him around in our new Ergo carrier. While he was asleep, we visited another toy store and my mom bought him a squeezy ball and a book with baby sign language (we want to start teaching him signs). He loooooves the squeezy ball! It’s easy for him to grab and hang on to, and it’s chewy and has lots of places for him to poke his tongue into. Case in point:

It was a super-fun weekend and I’m so glad they got to come and visit! It’s great that they could hang out with Wesley again now that he is more interactive – my brother had never met him and my parents last saw him at 7 weeks old!

I came across this:

I am not angry that this shirt exists. I think it’s cute and if I formula-fed, I would consider purchasing it for my baby. However, since I breastfeed, where the eff is my shirt? Why can’t there be both versions?

Is Old Navy afraid to put the word “breastmilk” on a shirt? I would be okay with “Powered by Mama’s milk” if they were squeamish. (Which… GRAH to that, I see no reason to be squeamish about feeding a baby.)

I just want to see equal representation. This says to me, “At Gap, Inc. we support formula-feeding instead of breastfeeding to the point that we will take the time to design and manufacture a shirt to communicate our stance.” Had both shirts been offered, I likely would not have even noticed this.

Given that Old Navy provides nursing tops to breastfeeding mothers, the production of this “Formula Powered” bodysuit without an accompanying “Breastmilk Powered” design baffles me.

I’ve sent an email to their customer service department outlining these issues, and I’m looking forward to their response.

However, I have seen several breastfeeding-related things recently that made me very, very irritated.

Thing the first:

The Double Shot in Oklahoma is run by a total jerk:

Mr. Brian Franklin posts that breastfeeding is not okay at his shop, despite this being against Oklahoma state law. When breastfeeding advocates get on his case, he tells them to “settle down,” and he relents (HA!) and says he supposes it is okay, as long as it’s “in private.”

And then when it doesn’t stop, he claims he was “just kidding anyway.”

Folks. Breastfeeding mothers have the right to feed their babies WHEREVER THEY WANT, just like formula-feeding mothers. It is AGAINST THE LAW to make them go elsewhere.

Thing the second:

From Babycenter, “Your 4-month-old, Week 2“:

Your baby has a bigger tummy now, so she won’t need to fill up as often. Four or five times a day will often do it, in fact, unless she’s exclusively breastfed, in which case she’ll still want to eat six to eight times a day.

This is so petty and nitpicky that I feel guilty posting it, but WHYYYY is formula-feeding the default language in this article? Why could it not have said, “Eating six to eight times a day will often do it, unless she’s formula-fed, in which case eating only four to five times a day is normal.”

Why is “unless she’s exclusively breastfed” the fringe case? Is breastfeeding really that uncommon past 12 weeks or so?

As a country, if would like to improve our breastfeeding rates, we should start taking a closer look at the language we use when referring to feeding our babies and how that affects the public’s attitude toward breastfeeding. If formula-feeding is presented as the norm, why would that motivate someone to stick with breastfeeding?

Thing the third:

When people on Facebook (or wherever) talk about how great it is that “Daddy gets up with the baby at night” so they can sleep.

I see this all over the place. Again, are this many people supplementing or full-on formula-feeding? The reason my baby gets up at night is to eat, and Daddy would be of absolutely no help in that case. (Maybe these babies aren’t getting up because they’re hungry?)

I suppose I could pump and give a bottle at night, but pumping is so much effort and I’m right there anyway – why not just feed him? Are these people pumping every day so Daddy can handle nighttime wakeups? I just don’t get it.

GRAH.