All In The Family

Marilyn Manson – “Disposable Teens”

I talked to my mom today for quite a while. They recently bought a red Ford Ranger to replace the truck that I wrecked and my brother subsequently fixed, because it is a piece of crap. However, since the Red Ranger is so nice (it’s not new, but nearly so) my mom made a rule that my brother, Carson, had to get a 3.0 GPA before he was allowed to drive it. It would show that he was responsible and cared enough about the responsibility to bring his grades up.

His report card for last semester came in the mail a while ago. Guess what he got?

A 2.909. Yes. He missed the 3.0 by .091 of a point. Also, he got an Incomplete for one class, which I think he’s taken care of. But yes, no driving the Red Ranger yet.

This same brother is slated to graduate this year in June. Plans are in motion for me to take the train home for a weekend in order to be there for it; however, that weekend happens to be the weekend RIGHT BEFORE Finals Week. I suppose if I managed to move to a different apartment during Finals Week once, I can visit home. That actually sounds like a piece of cake compared to moving. I will end up missing a class, but I don’t think it’ll be a huge deal. Nothing’s due until the next week anyway.

My mom is really, um, on top of things when it comes to applying for scholarships. She basically hounds you about it until you want to kill her and everyone who came up with the idea of scholarship applications. It got to the point where she was so obnoxious about it that the school counselor in charge of scholarships finally had to write a note home to my mother telling me to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP ASKING ABOUT THE GODDAMNED SCHOLARSHIPS, THEY ARE NOT AVAILABLE YET. I kept trying to tell Mom that this is JANUARY, they do not even start letting you apply until spring-ish, but she wouldn’t believe me, hence the note. I was so embarrassed at the time.

My grandparents are crazy. The other day, I guess my grandma was cranky and instructed my (mostly senile) grandpa to fix them some breakfast. He got out two glasses, a box of Cocoa Puffs, poured the puffs into the glasses and poured some water over them, and that’s what he had for breakfast. My grandma said she didn’t like it much, so she had some strawberries. O_o Cocoa Puffs and water. Mmm.

I also mentioned possibly traveling to Chicago next year for Stanley. I figure with my mom, you’ve gotta mention these things early so that she has time to freak out, tell you no, no chance in hell, then reconsider six months later and say she has no idea what you’re talking about, go right ahead. So I said everything really fast about an Internet Friend who lives near Chicago and I wanted to visit her and there’s this blogging convention held by a friend of Internet Friend, and, I kid you not, my mom said, “That sounds like FUN! You should totally go.”

WHO IS THIS PERSON AND WHAT HAS SHE DONE WITH MY MOTHER?!?

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