On the advice of a friend (thanks Meag!), I called my midwives today to have them talk me down a bit and see if they would be able to confirm baby’s position before the weekend. That way, if I was wrong and baby was head-up, I didn’t have to spend the weekend upside down. However, if I was right, maybe we could try to do something about it.
They both palpated the baby and had different guesses, so they confirmed it with a super quick ultrasound. I was right, unfortunately – baby is breech for sure.
Denise says I have a lot of room and adequate fluid for the baby to turn, and there’s still a lot of time. She’d be more concerned if I was a first-time mom, but this is my second baby and the baby’s butt isn’t engaged in my pelvis, so that’s a good sign that she’ll still turn. She was also able to move the baby into a transverse position for a bit, so that’s a good sign too.
Denise recommended I keep doing all the stuff I’ve been doing, and indicated we could try to turn the baby around at my next appointment if I’d like.
I’m disappointed that I was right, but I’m glad I know for sure and I’m feeling a little less panicked.
I cried after I made the phone call asking to come in. (And by “after” I mean I was getting choked up on the phone when trying to describe how I was feeling and I’m glad the office manager told me she’d have Denise call me back to talk.)
For some stupid reason, I guess I see it as a sign of strength to not need to call for help? I never once came in “unscheduled” like that when I was pregnant with Wesley – not even the time I fell down – and I think I was a bit little proud of that. People make fun of pregnant women for freaking out about every little twinge – I’ve heard of hospitals calling them “frequent flyers” for coming in to be checked so often – and I liked that I wasn’t one of the people that call in for stupid stuff. It’s hard to get past that and be okay with saying “I know this might not seem like a big deal to you but I need help processing this.”
I’m supposed to be collecting stuff for my birth kit, but now it all feels really horrible and jinxy. Like, “why buy [homebirth thing / postpartum thing], I’m not even going to need it anyway.” And I hate that I keep thinking those thoughts! They’re awful. I want to NOT be thinking those things.
I don’t know. It’s difficult to articulate to somebody who hasn’t had a negative birth experience why having the chance at a positive or empowering birth experience would be important to me. I’m sure it sounds dumb.
Obviously, I recognize that having a c-section isn’t the end of the world – I have a lovely little boy who was born that way. But birth matters. Having a “healthy baby and a healthy mama” is super important but it is also not the only thing that’s important – mama’s experience matters too.
File Under: Pregnancy