January 24, 2014 2:00 pm

Foot In Mouth

A couple of weeks ago, I was at work when a resident and his caregiver came in to have me make some photocopies. When I stood up to walk to the copy machine, the caregiver, L, remarked, “Oh! You’re expecting!” I responded cheerfully that I was.

She then did a double-take and said, “So— wow. When are you due?” in a tone of voice that suggested she expected the answer to be “tomorrow.”

I told her early May, and I wish that I had been able to film her response. She looked incredibly shocked, and spluttered, “MAY? Oh. WOW. You’re— you’re, uh, really out there.” And then, without me saying anything, she continued:

“And you’re sure it’s just one?”

I kind of cocked my head at her but responded politely that I was sure it was just one. L continued with the “Wow… May, huh? You’re… huh…”

At that point, I’d finished the copies and sat down again. L stood there, still saying stuff, and I was smiling sweetly at her, hoping she’d get the hint and stop. And then my brain short-circuited and I started trying to smooth over the awkwardness by saying that this is my second baby and it’s really common to show more with your second. As I was saying it, my brain was like, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” because I am way smaller with this baby than I was with Wesley. I don’t even know.

L finally got over her shock well enough to take her photocopies and leave, but I was butthurt about the interaction for a few days afterward. I had expected to get the “are you sure it’s not twins?” comment when I was pregnant with Wesley and had gained 40lbs by this point, but not with this baby! I was still feeling great about not needing maternity clothes yet, and then this lady spent several minutes trying to convince me that I was some kind of blimp.

Here’s a picture of me from that day, at 22 weeks 5 days pregnant:

22w5d

Here’s me at 22 weeks with Wesley:

22 Weeks

I felt like asking her if she’d ever been pregnant, but since I was at work (and will have to interact with her in the future) I decided to just let it go and seethe quietly at my desk.

I’m still just blown away that she felt it was an appropriate topic of conversation. Appropriate topics might have been “is this your first?” or “do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” or some variation on that theme. Not, “you’re so huge you must be having twins” or really ANYTHING commenting on the size of my body other than “you have such a cute bump!”

Good grief.

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6 Comments

  • Scarlet says:

    I think your bump is super cute in both pics! Ignore the crazy people. I’m convinced a lot of comments like this come purely from ignorance. Maybe she never had any kids or was just never really around many pregnant women. Honestly, I would never comment about a baby bump ever unless I knew for a fact the woman was pregnant. I’ve gotten way too many ‘Omagod when are you due?!’ comments when I wasn’t even pregnant so I know it just instantly ruins your day, maybe even your week.

  • Caity says:

    Yeah I think that was a bit rude of her. I think your bump is cute in both pictures and neither one looks massive. You just look pregnant which is what you’re supposed to look like when you’re… uh… pregnant!

  • Medli says:

    I think your baby bump is adorable. You look amazing in both pictures. People will always say things. Just ignore it and let it go. Be happy that your baby is healthy and you are a good size to be at. :)

  • Jme says:

    I think someone needs to print this out and set it where this person can read it?

    http://www.themeasuredmom.com/say-pregnant-woman/

  • Abby says:

    …Is L just socially awkward? I feel like your bump doesn’t even look that big. Even if it did, it would be a dumb thing to say, but considering it doesn’t, I just don’t know about this L.

  • Rose says:

    Ok that fully doesn’t even look like a very big bump AT ALL. She’s crazy. Also, I am generally pretty terrible for accidentally saying socially inappropriate things, but even *I* wouldn’t screw up as badly as she did!

    You look great :)