December 13, 2004 7:43 pm

Clothes Are A Pain In The Ass

:note: Type O Negative – “We Hate Everyone” :ton:

I finally bought a bra today to replace my really awesome one that, um, died. So yay. I feel… uplifted, I guess. :tongue: Anyway, I did some more Christmas shopping… I think I’m almost done. I need to go get some wrapping paper though. I don’t have any.

Intro to Video is over FOREVER. For ever and ever and ever. Hurray. Four more classes to go, two days of working for the school, and then I’m going home on the train! Woo!

Callie and I were discussing theme songs, because hers is apparently “What I Am” by Edie Brickell, but I would totally never have guessed that. If asked, I would have said it was “Don’t Worry, Be happy” by Bobby McFerrin. It’s a song that totally sums up her philosophy in life, according to her. Star once told me that my theme song was “In Bloom” by Nirvana, and I still don’t really know what she meant by that. I haven’t decided on a personal theme song yet, but No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” seems to fit me pretty well. That’s my working theme song for the moment.

Nirvana – “In Bloom”
Sell the kids for food
Weather changes moods
Spring is here again
Reproductive glands

(Chorus)
He’s the one who likes all the pretty songs.
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun.
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
And I say yeah. (x2)

We can have some more
Nature is a whore
Bruises on the fruit
Tender age in bloom.

(Chorus) (x2)

(Thinking: I need to go get that wrapping paper before goodwill closes.) I decided that for my New Year’s resolutions, I’m going to go on a big self-improvement mission. Taking better care of my body, I guess. I want to lose at least some of the weight that I gained after stopping gymnastics (Miles, I miss you. Where are you?) because I know it isn’t healthy for me to keep it. I want to dress better and feel better. I’m going to try to stick to an exercise regimen and make a conscious effort to remember to brush my teeth and use mouthwash and floss every night. We’ll see how that goes. I’m notoriously lax when it comes to flossing. I want to drink more water. I want to eat healthier. Nothing terribly drastic, but all things that will definitely be self-improvement. I don’t have any bad habits like drugs or smoking or drinking too much that I could stop, so I guess that’s good. One less thing I have to worry about. I just want to be more fit, I guess.

It’s starting to really bother me that my boyfriend dresses better than I do. I mean, I like that he dresses well – I think it’s awesome – he looks really good all the time, which is great. It’s just that I feel like the frumpy housewife or something a lot of the time, because I don’t make it a point to have nice looking clothes. I need to make it a point, I think. I honestly have nothing I would consider wearing to a job interview. I can’t wear most button-up shirts because my, erm, bosom is too big for them (:sigh:) and they make the buttons gap and look dumb. My only option is to buy the shirt in a huge size, but then the whole “nice preppy fitted” look I’m going for will be ruined due to the tent-like nature of the shirt. You small chested girls do not know how lucky you are.

I basically don’t give a shit about my clothes anymore because I can’t ever find anything that fits. There’s ONE brand/fit of pants in this world that fits me nicely – Arizona Flare “short” jeans from J.C. Penney. I tried on some Abercrombie and Fitch (or was it American Eagle? American Eagle, I think) jeans in hopes that they’d be great, but oh god were they awful. I don’t know who’s butt they were made for, but it certainly wasn’t mine. Basically, they were the most comfortable denim I’ve ever been in, but the waistband was such that if I breathed, it would sink so low that my buttcrack would show. Like, the waistband had no power to stay on my hips/waist at all. It was terrible. I’d have to tape them to me to get them to work properly. Old Navy jeans sometimes fit, but I like the flare kind (NOT the bootcut kind) and they’re always out of those in my size, or else the wash is one of those hideous “I fell in a cup of coffee” or “I fell in bleach” kind of washes. Totally unsuitable.
Also, nothing ever comes close to fitting the length of my legs because they’re so short. The Arizona jeans come the closest. I really really like those pants. The problem is, that’s the only pair of pants in the world that work for me. I consequently have one pair of jeans that I wear all the time until they wear the fuck out, and then I buy another pair. I sometimes have two pairs at a time and split the wearing between them. I have no cords or khakis or anything. They just don’t fit. This is another reason why I want to go on this self-improvement regimen. I will be able to buy interesting pants again.
It’s not like I’m huge – I don’t consider a size 9 huge, at least. Though, I was a size five for my whole pants wearing life up until my gymnastics place closed and my coach moved away. I was a size 7 for like, two weeks after that, and then I’ve been a size 9 for about two, two and a half years. So at least I’ve been maintaining it, I guess. It’s just that it’s SO HARD to find pants that aren’t a size 0 or 1, and a size 5 or 7 is a lot closer to 1 than 9 is. At any rate, the fits and things for cords and khakis are usually totally different from jeans, for some reason, and Arizona doesn’t make them. So I’m totally out of luck in the pants department unless there’s some great and wonderful brand that I’m as of yet unaware of.

Shirts don’t fit me, for the above mentioned bosom issue. A lot of my shirts are Men’s size Small or Medium, because I like how those fit better – I don’t look like a hussy. Fitted shirts make me uncomfortable because I feel like my breasts are overtaking the room. They’re probably not, logically, but it feels like it to me. When I was a size 5, it was sort of okay, because the rest of me was smaller, so I was just buxom. The stacked petite girl. Now, I’m… I’m aerodynamically curvaceous (thanks, QC), I guess.

Dresses don’t fit me because of the bosom issue and because my back is naturally arched. Dresses hit my front and my butt and hang horribly awkwardly off of them. I look like a circus tent. It’s terribly unflattering. I should go on a mission to find a dress that accentuates my assets instead of haphazardly trying to cloak them.

Thankfully, shoes, underwear and socks are no problem, though a lot of socks are way too big. But they’re the least of my worries.

So yeah, clothes designers make it impossible to shop if you’re short but not very petite. And so ends my rant for the day. I need a whole freakin bunch of money to go clothes shopping and I’ll buy nice stuff and look decent. And I won’t be the dumpy girlfriend to Daniel’s snazzy dressing. God, he looks good lately. :heartgrin:

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